My boyfriend, who I met months after he separated from his ex. is going through a very difficult divorce and I need some advice about how to deal with the dishonesty and actions of his ex. He originally left the marriage after ten years together when her coercive and controlling behaviour became physically violent. Three times the police had to be called to the house because she physically attacked him. At one point she smashed a glass of wine over his head whilst he was holding his 6 month old daughter. When the police visited they wanted him to press charges, but she is a lawyer and he still loved her and wanted her to keep her job. On the fourth attack he left, moving into a hotel, and was advised by a domestic abuse charity that he couldn’t take his young children (4 and 18 months) with him. Since then she has physically attacked him one more time and denied him access to his children. She has spent most weekends over the year and a half they have been split sending abusive messages hoping that ‘he burns in Hell’, etc. When he does have the children she changes times constantly and puts down unreasonable restrictions.
He got her to go to mediation to form a parenting plan. He tried to get 100% custody, but now has one night and day a week in term time (he works in London and she has moved three hours away) and 50% access in the holidays. During this time she fraudulently used a V5 in his name to declare his car SORN (something he didn’t realise for four months as the tax was free and he had taxed it using the reminder just before she did this).
They are now about to go to Financial Mediation, although she is saying she can’t afford it and wants to negotiate privately. They were supposed to exchange Form Es in April, but they have just done it (in August). He has had to update his several times waiting for her. On her Form E she has missed out 12 pages of bank statements (covering expenditure of over £8000). At one point over £2500 leaves her account between the 27th Dec and the 4th Jan, but that page is missing. We believe that she has a separate saving account as she earns £60,000 a year and my boyfriend has always covered all household costs apart from her £1000 contribution. She should have £2600 spare cash every month which she has had for most of their marriage. He is still paying the full mortgage (he earns the same as her) and was paying all of the bills until a month ago. She claims that she is £6000 in debt, but she has very little expenditure on the bank statements we can actually see. Not declared pensions (just one small one from when she was twenty) and provided no pension valuation. Not declared her net annual income. Not mentioned that she took unpaid leave during her recent pay slips. Not had the house valued as she promised she would. Lied about her monthly needs (£450 a month on food for her and two children under 4 who are in full time nursery and get fed there). Undervalued her possessions. We Buy Any Car value her car at £5000, but she claims is it is worth £2000, etc. She is a lawyer and knows that she is committing fraud. She has signed a statement of truth, but refused to exchange through the mediator because she has no money to pay for it. The mediator keeps emailing asking for her Form E (my partner has sent it to the mediator). What can we do? He has emailed her and the mediator asking for all of the missing documents, and pointing out her professional obligations as a lawyer.