DH ignoring request to go to mediation

[fingernailsbitten]

WWYD?
I've emailed H to ask him to ask if he does or does not want to go to mediation. He's so far not replied. I just wish he'd be a grown up. He moved out. He left me. He ended the relationship. He's making it worse than it has to be. Help?! How do I get him to co-operate? WWYD?

Mediation is supposed to speed up a divorce as far as I know. He seems to think there is no rush. Why would I want to remain married to a man who quite clearly hates me?

Contact a mediator yourself. Do the initial meeting. The get the mediator to contact him. That worked better for me.

I tried and tried and tried to het mine to go to mediation. The mediator almost got him there. He left me no choice but to apply to the courts.

The court paperwork arrived and he went mad.

I had great pleasure in saying I told you so. For exactly all the reasons why I wanted us to go together to mediation.

The paperwork shows that he has refused mediation. However I believe the court can still insist we go to mediation to address child and financial issues.

I have my first hearing FHDRA next month.

Good luck

I messaged my stbxh the same yesterday and he's ignoring me too.

@Otter71 will the mediator usually do that? Contact the other party themselves? I have an apt but wasn't sure if I should still go if stbxh won't engage? Sounds like I should? Thank you.

You attend if he doesn’t a certificate will be given saying he didn’t .Its up to the mediator to find a way to facilitate .Mine even used zoom .
I don’t think my wanker of a soon to be freaking ex responded.
So off to the courts to be honest we all knew that it would end like this and it’s prefared.

Mediation is only successful if both parties are willing to engage and have decided on what they are going to do to end the finances amicably

@juneshowers19 dont know if they all do but mine said it was standard practice.

They have to try to get both sides to attend they are impartial and it’s their job to do the chasing.
It’s whats used to show that all attempts have been used before the courts most find it useless but need the paper to show attempts have been made to find solutions.Courts is where the big moneys spent.It makes sense not to go down that route but a majority of warring partners will decide its best to do it this way in my case for example.
Mine was a bloody waste of money we both knew it .Tick tock I was thinking to myself, let’s sing a song and let me move on.
I just need the paper to say he didn’t engage, I did and that shit.

Thanks.
Otter I did not know I should contact a mediator myself and they will try to get him to engage. Thank you.
I go t want a divorce but by default that what is likely to happen. I don't want uncertainty forever. He literally dumped me after 20 years of marriage.