I'm so so angry

[rhowton]

Husband had one affair, I took him back. Husband has just had another affair whilst we have a 2 year old and a 10 week old at home.

I've kicked him out for good but now all he gets to do is live at his parents whilst sleep as much as he likes, constantly having lie ins and getting fed!! He's off work for three weeks now with "stress/I've been caught having an affair" and I really could do with the help as I'm the one who's having to deal with everything!! So for the next 3 weeks... he will sleep and have the best time with next to no responsibility!!

I AM ABSOLUTELY RAGING!!

Are all men twats? Why don't we get to leave the kids (I don't want too/I would kinda love too for a little bit 😂) why can't I sleep for three weeks!!

Yes all men are twats ... I sometimes wonder why we bother with them

Is he having the kids sometimes? Appreciate he can't if you're breastfeeding

What a pig he is.
Console yourself with,and i know its hard now,you will have a fantastic bond with your children whilst he wont.
His parents must/should be embarrassed

To OP

Can your Ex's parents not help a little with the 2 year old? Most grandparents take great delight is having their grandchildren around.

Yes, all men are twats, have affairs, and run off & abandon their children. That's why you've probably never seen a bloke with his kids in the street before 🙄

Sorry to hear that yourhusband has been sucb a dick. It's natural to be angry - but try to channel that anger into something productive. Use it to give you the energy to tackle the practical things that need doing now.

Open a discussion with him about what residence arrangements will apply moving forward. Being off work with stress doesn't give him a hall pass to avoid being involved with his kids for the next three weeks.

See a solicitor. Figure out what financial arrangements you will seek. File for divorce.

After my ex-wife and I split, I found it helpful to channel that anger into putting in place the foundations for an awesome new life, on my terms. If you stew in the fact that he's getting lie-ins and being fed, you'll just be making things worse for yourself.

God I remember this feeling. Fucking mil looking after the fucker while I copied with 4 kids and my own grief.
However. Around 4 months after we split. Mil called me to ask when I was taking him back as she's only agreed to a couple of weeks while he sorted his head out (I'd made it clear to him it was over) it turns out he was coming in pissed at all hours and she'd also caught him shagging the ow on the sofa downstairs 😂😂
Your mil probably love's having him at the moment but reality will hopefully hit soon.

Similar happened to my brother when he was going through a rough patch at home. He went to stay with our parents, and after 3 months they sent him back to his wife to sort out their mess either way. They are staying together, but my god, he has an almighty ‘thumb print on his forehead’ !! She watches and controls his every move.

Well he's a piece of shit and you're best rid of him but practically what help do you have friends or your family

Can’t you hand the kids over for an afternoon and evening and tell him to get on with it.

It doesn’t mean you don’t love them but he should be giving you a break.

I know this feeling. My ex got caught out but claimed the "lady" was simply helping him with his depression and he's not made any attempt to see the kids for over a year. Being single at 40 with 4 children and a full time job isn't funny. Some days I'm not actually sure how I function. I am a mum 24/7. When my 3 and 5 year olds are fighting sleep for 4 hours a night each it often makes me cry. While he gets to now live a single life whilst wailing about how his possessive controlling wife threw him out because she couldn't handle him having friendships. And makes no attempt to see his kids because he wont undergo the safeguarding that is needed. There are good guys out there I am sure - just haven't been lucky enough to meet one!