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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Sister been asked to leave

20 replies

allymcn · 31/07/2019 09:03

Long story short. My younger sister has been having an emotional affair with another man. Her husband found out a few days ago and has now asked her to leave the house they own together. Where does she stand? Does she have to go?

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 31/07/2019 10:59

If they own the house together no she doesn’t. Children involved?

Bluntness100 · 31/07/2019 11:03

You need to provide more details, whose house is it, is there kids?

Original poster
allymcn · 31/07/2019 20:31

They joint own the house, no kids. Have advised her to see a solicitor straight away.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 31/07/2019 21:12

No she doesn't need to leave. Is equally her house. In fact she probably shouldn't leave in case he changes the locks.

Palaver1 · 01/08/2019 14:10

She has to stay and bare the shame of what’s put her into this situation

Palaver1 · 01/08/2019 14:11

She needs to get in touch with a solicitor

Disfordarkchocolate · 01/08/2019 14:12

'Bare the shame', what bollocks.

She doesn't have to leave.

Palaver1 · 01/08/2019 14:32

I was waiting for that you know it’s always a drama when it’s a man when it’s a woman we go softer.She can’t be moved out of her house but must be prepared to endure the same that would be if the shoe was on the other foot.
Yes she has to and I wonder what’s going on with the man she had the emotional relationship wonder how his family is taking to the whole drama if the wife knows .
Soft on the woman hard on the man life is not like this we can’t have it both ways.
Her husband found out just the way wife’s find out every day.
So I say again she stays but must be prepared to take what ever comes her way .

Mythreefavouritethings · 01/08/2019 14:37

Agree with Palaver, if she is happy to live in the atmosphere she’s caused then crack on. Sounds a laugh a minute. Now waiting for the defence posts, which would obviously also stand if the situation was reversed.

HappyHammy · 01/08/2019 14:42

What would she expect her dh to do if he had the affair. Am guessing he wants a divorce so they need legal advice. What does she want to do.

NotBeingRobbed · 01/08/2019 14:43

Is an “emotional affair” even an affair? Isn’t it just a friendship?

Palaver1 · 01/08/2019 15:24

That’s what they say she’s not going to say she’s having an affair to her sister is she.Affair is an affair

SaraNade · 01/08/2019 18:33

Having an emotional affair is still bad even if not physical. Good on her husband! If it was our husbands, we would ask them to leave. So why shouldn't he? She is the one who violated their marital vows, she should be the one to leave. It's only right and fair. And why are you defending her?

NotBeingRobbed · 01/08/2019 19:21

I’m not defending her. I just wonder what is an affair and what is an emotional affair. I’d consider adultery an affair. I do think men and women can be friends and colleagues without there being anything untoward. This isn’t Saudi Arabia and women are allowed to speak to other men. So I guess it was a romantic involvement anyway.

SaraNade · 01/08/2019 20:28

@NotBeingRobbed My reply was to the OP who seems to be defending her sister, not you. Sorry, I should have been clearer.

pikapikachu · 01/08/2019 21:28

Legally she doesn't have to leave by morally she should leave for a while imo.

Original poster
allymcn · 02/08/2019 08:03

@SaraNade I seem to be defending my sister? How did you get that through my post? I asked if she had to leave? Maniac. I don't condone her behaviour in the slightest.

If the shoe was on the other foot though then yeah, I get that. It would be get him out etc.

Basically he messaged her saying "I want you out the house by the time I'm home tonight" she was panicking as she has no where else to go. She stood firm however and said no, she wouldn't leave her home. They are sleeping in separate rooms and discussing how to move forward with a separation.

OP posts:
NotBeingRobbed · 02/08/2019 08:25

Well actually I think you should support your sister. This is a tough time for her, whatever happened.

ColaFreezePop · 02/08/2019 08:37

No she doesn't have to leave but she should be the one sleeping on the sofa or in the spare room.

Instead of them both running to solicitors first and making the solicitors rich due to their animosity to one another, they should go for marriage counseling to see if there is something to save. Then if there isn't they should get divorced and try and keep it amicable to save money and feelings.

Palaver1 · 02/08/2019 14:43

As a sister your doing the right thing .I stand to be corrected I do not believe my sister would tell me she’s had an affair.I don’t think I would either at first .Maybe later on a confession will be made because you truly know the expectations and what’s wrong or right.
I would be so saddened to let my sister down and vice versa.
Of course she shouldn’t leave.
Of course she’s gonna walk around in a very shaky manner.cos she’s been CAUGHT
unfortunately it’s come before the discussion of why the marriage is in a state that has enabled this affair to happen.
Things can work out but it will always give the one who found out an upper leg in the marriage.
We must see this for what it is a betrayal regardless of if it was the man or woman.

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