Feeling sad when Decree Nisi is granted

[TomHardysBitontheside]

STBXH and I have been separated for 2.5 years. It's all been amicable. We still get on, the love just died a long time ago. He's now with someone else (that he was with when we were married). I'm also seeing someone but it's fairly casual. We have no plans to co habit, we just enjoy each other's company from time to time.

This week I found out my Nisi was granted after what feels like an eternity. I thought I'd be delighted but actually I'm quite sad. I guess it's the finality of it all. And the feeling of loneliness. He's moved on and has a new life with her. I do all of the parenting to our teenage kids. I see him from time to time if he comes to the house and we still get on well. I don't regret the divorce for one minute, we couldn't have carried on as we were. And I certainly don't love him. I just feel a bit low and sad.

Did anyone else feel this way? And how did you deal with it? I am thinking I just need to give myself time to grieve the end of the marriage.

I felt sad when I read, on the decree, the name of the church we married in. It all came flashing back, just like in a film. Arriving at church, the walk in, the vows, walking out, our reception, the place we lived together, the scene in which he finally admitted to me that he'd been having an affair. I felt heavy with the deep, hollow sadness of it.

I then made a point of reminding myself of what a total shit he was, including already on our wedding day. The sadness didn't last long, a day or so. Ultimately, it's sadness for what wasn't, not what was.

I did when my absolute came through, it was the finality of it - even though it was what I had been waiting for etc. It just seemed such a sad end to what had (at one time, a long time ago) been a loving happy relationship that had created two wonderful kids.

It passed quite quickly.

Be kind to yourself as you deal with this