How does staying in the house work...

[fishfood88]

I know I probably need to see a solicitor but I just wanted some rough advise I guess, as this is in the early stages of consideration at the moment...

Discussing possibly separating from H. We jointly own the property, with equal deposit and payment of mortgage.

In my current role if he where to move out I would be able to pay all the mortgage and bills and run the house. In the next year or two I will very likely earn enough to buy him out of the mortgage.

If we were to separate he would likely have our DD two nights a week and I would have her the remaining 5.

I would ideally like to stay in the house for the next two years, pay the mortgage and bills and he would be able to move out and rent separately. After two years I would then look to buy him out. I would buy him out for 50% of the equity in house at that point.

He is indicating that he doesn't want to do that and that we should sell the house immediately and each buy our own places. However I want to stay in the house for continuity for our DD and because I don't want to move location. DD is established here, school and friends nearby and my DParents who do substantial childcare. I wouldn't be able to presently buy in the same area. So I would likely have to move areas for a short while before ultimately moving back once my income increased.

Legally, would I be able to stay in this described scenario? If he forced the sale how long would that take?

I'm pretty sure he could try to force the sale but it's also possible this would be refused as your plan is reasonable.

It would probably take a while to force a sale...paperwork is slow.

However, can you not consider selling now? You could buy somewhere in the same area after all.

As the primary carer for your child, it's likely you would be allowed to stay in the house. He could fight and try and force a sale but it would cost thousands and he would probably be unsuccessful.

Thanks for the replies. Would I still be considered primary carer if he had DD 3 nights a week? H is saying that's what he would like but I feel although it may start like that in reality it will probably reduce to every other weekend and a night in the week. Or maybe 2 nights a week. Obviously I wouldn't deny him trying the 3 nights though if that's what he wants. I'm really not bothered about child maintenance and I don't need him to contribute to paying for the house I would just like to stay in it until I can buy him out.

The alternative would be renting somewhere in the area for a year and then buying somewhere which would be a frustrating amount of moving and disruption for DD. He is thinking he would move out and rent while the house was selling anyway, so he would just need to stay in the rented accommodation a little longer. I don't feel that's unreasonable but maybe it is?

The divorce and settlements could take 2 years anyway so it’s realistic fir you to stay there for a bit anyway

What happens if you cannot afford to buy him out in 2 years?

I think it likely that the option you discussed would be awarded with a trigger point in 2 years for sale or buy out - this provides some stability, time for emotions to settle, time for both parties to settle and let things work out. I can see that renting is not ideal but is good option in the short term

Hmm. Take with a pinch of salt those people telling tou a court would let you stay in the house because you're primary caree. These days, the courts (rightly) prefer a clean break. Since you could afford to sell the house, and both of you to house yourselves with the proceeds, it is highly unlikely that a court would allow you to sit on all the assets simply because you'd prefer to stay in the house.

And, when you think about it, why would they allow that? That would leave you with all the assets of the marriage, and your husband with nothing, until you were ready to buy him out. You say it's highly likely that you would earn enough to do that in a couple of years - but there are no guarantees there. Who knows what could happen with the housing market, interest rates, or your earnings? You're asking your husband to take on trust that you'll be in a position to do that - but you may not be. There's a risk that he could be stuck renting for years, while you hold on to all the assets. In his shoes, I'd be reluctant to agree that too. And a court will also be reluctant, because it leaves you financially dependent upon him for an extended period rather than achieving a clean break.

Is there any way you can stretch yourself to buy him out earlier? If not, you may need to seriously think about selling.

It's not guaranteed I could buy him out, but I have a job that has a pay increase built in which would means I could then remortgage enough in my name. Until then I could afford to pay the current mortgage fine, but not remortgage for a higher amount to release his equity, as our house value has increased over the two years we've been in it. Obviously the house market could rocket, or something could happen and I could lose my job. If that were the case and I couldn't buy him out after that time frame, then I would certainly think we would have to sell.

All very complicated really. Has the contributions been 50/50 to this point? How much would you be out on remortgage/early settlement fees?

Sorry @fishfood88 - I don't think a Judge will put your preference to stay in the house ahead of meeting your husband's reasonable financial needs for the next couple of years, even if there's a decent chance of being able to buy him out with your pay rise. What you're seeking really isn't reasonable.