Divorce separation %

[Sadandlonely1]

Hi, I’m separating after 20 years 2 children, agreed 55% of house, but husband says I’m unfair not taking 50/50. We’ve spoken to friends and they did amicable 50/50 and he said he’ll hate me if I as for more. Solicitor is biased and wants me to chase him for a lot more. I’ve only worked part time and haven’t contributed financially. I’d really like to know if he is being mean and if it can be amicable. I’m so sad but don’t want to be a walkover. Please help

You’re right. I’ll instruct solicitor to start divorce before house sells. Breaks my heart it really does

Listen to your solicitor

Let your solicitor field any bullshit from your ex and his solicitor

Ignore his threats regarding child custody and nonsense about how you will look to his family and friends. They will not look after you in years to come!

He is not your friend I'm afraid.

Glad you are getting legal advice.

You are right, he keeps blowing hot and cold and it’s hard to remind myself he’s only trying to protect what he has and he’s not thinking about me and the children. He said yesterday I had a 5 day weekend when I only worked 2 days a week!

he’s only trying to protect what he has and he’s not thinking about me and the children

Oh, sweetheart, he has thought of you and the children. He thought about you all and made the active decision to shaft you.

He's not thoughtless. He's deliberate. So must you be

When are you seeing a solicitor?

Ignore his stupid comments, what happened in the past re your working set up bears no relevance to what is happening now - except for the fact that you have had less chance to build up your career and pension which is why it is so important you take your solicitors advice.

I’ve emailed one and waiting a reply. I don’t want to do the court route, 55% is morally correct I just need it confirmed by him in the divorce letter I think.

Divorce au Maroc

Quand on se marie, la dernière chose à laquelle on pense, c’est bien le divorce . Au Maroc, on a tendance à croire que rien ne pourrait aller mal. On entend parler de couples qui divorcent autour de nous, mais comme pour beaucoup d’autres choses, on se dit que ça n’arrive qu’aux autres. Alors, on s’investit totalement dans notre mariage – personne ne peut nous le reprocher – on fait des enfants, en croyant parfois que les enfants vont renforcer ou même sauver notre mariage. Et même quand la relation commence à franchement se dégrader, on se convainc que c’est passager, que bientôt, tout ira mieux… la vie est difficile, il faut être patient. Puis un jour, les choses atteignent un point de non retour. On se rend compte qu’il n’y a plus d’autre issue. Le divorce devient la seule possibilité, la seule voie de survie. C’est alors qu’on se rend compte d’une chose : on n’y était pas préparé.

www.houkouki.com/le-divorce-au-maroc/procedures/13117/

Yes you are totally right, we’re not prepared for it 😞

I can’t believe he’s still being mean. After telling me I’m doing the wrong thing and we should try again, he’s still going about it the wrong way. I’m sleeping on the sofa and he’s being arrogant, breaks my heart I can’t fix this and it has to end. And I’m still giving in at 55% split. What’s wrong with me...

You need to find out about the pension it could be more than the house in value.

Has your solicitor advised you to agree to a 55% split? What about his pension?

Don’t agree to anything until you’ve had legal advice.

Tbh, if he doesn’t want to split then this is likely to get nasty either way. You need to protect your future, do not give in to his threats.

If you’ve been the main caregiver for the children, it is extremely unlikely he will get full custody. 50/50 is the preferred arrangement by the courts but can he realistically do that? My ex couldn’t (was a workaholic and refuses to have the children during school holidays). I was a SAHM and I don’t know what my settlement worked out to be in terms of percentages but I got way more than half by the time global maintenance until my youngest turns 16 is taken into account.

Did his solicitor ask you in writing if you take drugs/drink too much? Or did your ex tell you they’d said that? I would be very surprised if his sol asked those questions, it sounds more like your ex is trying to scare you into submission.

Things are far from amicable between myself and my ex but we manage to make it work ok for the children. We don’t need to speak to each other really, most communication is done via text and only concerning the children. Don’t let your fear of him hating you stop you getting what you’re entitled to.

Well you have to decide what’s more important to you.

Securing your kids financial future with an appropriate settlement as advised by your solicitor.

Or doing what he wants to be nice and amicable and morally correct (according to him ) to keep him onside in the vague hope that you can be friends and he won’t bad mouth you to everyone.

Gosh that’s amazing advice everyone. I am putting feelings over future, but there’s still a small part of me wants to fix him and make everything back to normal. He’s changing, hasn’t drank for weeks, goes to the gym... so why am I doing this? Because it still hurts to remember his drunken texts to a girl, the name calling, the times he’s pushed me. But he says it’s the old him and he won’t ever be like that again, but it hurts too much.
I’m scared to go to the solicitors as it will get messy and cost thousands.
His pension isn’t worth much at all.

No solicitor didn’t advise 55%, Hubbie said I’d be lucky to get 50/50 as I hadn’t contributed financially and I’d suggested 55% as there’s 3 of us and only him. Solicitor said it would probably be more but it would cost up to £20k to fight for it and take months. I just want this over and settled fairly. ATM we can’t sell the house tho, so all this is just talk and neither of us will move out 😪

Changed his lifestyle, started going to the gym, drunken texts to a girl...

Possibility that he is seeing someone else?

You can take it too court and let the judge decide...

He's talking crap by the way when he says you'll be lucky to get 50:50.

You'd most likely get that as a minimum.

He wants you to think this because he wants to shaft you financially.

You can still engage a solicitor to assist with sorting the finances, you don't necessarily have to go down the court route. You are perfectly within your rights to find out what is a likely reasonable settlement then have your solicitor present this to his solicitor as a starting point.

He has a solicitor. So should you,

That’s a thought, I will ask a solicitor to sort out finances, thank you
No he’s not seeing anyone else, we have close movements, if he was he’d want me to know sadly, he’s holding on to me at the mo.

His past behaviour sounds abusive. I'm glad you're wising up and seeing a solicitor. He is definitely after screwing you financially.

A leopard never changes his spots,

he will go back to his old ways then more resentment will build. It is a vicious circle.

You’re all right. So if I continue with this, how do we live together and what if the house doesn’t sell?
How can I instruct a solicitor if house isn’t selling, we could still be here in 6 months. I really don’t want to go to court and still end up with 50% after fees

And if a court says I can stop in house until youngest 16 how will he afford to live anywhere else? I just don’t know what to do. I wish the house would sell, I’ll take 55% and move on 😪

Who says the house has to sell?

You might be able to keep the house (because you and children need to be housed) and you could have him removed.

This is where good solicitors come into their own.