Split Over Money

[NorthDDad]

First time poster here,
Married (40) father of two (12, 11)
My wife and I have had a happy marriage, until the last few years.
Around eight years ago, her spending became out of control. This has become a recurring cycle.
Five years ago, we had a narrow escape, but with money borrowed from her & my families, we managed to prevent disaster. She promised she would reform and we continued.
Then two years ago it happened again, we had to go onto a DMP with Step Change (multiple maxed credit cards). I told her that I could not continue and that this was her last chance.
I thought we were starting to come out of this hell, today I have found she has somehow managed to rack up £1.5K on a store card. We cannot pay it off, I am now going to have to go begging to Step chance to see if I can fix this.
If it wasn’t for the kids I would be gone, bankruptcy is not an option as it will affect my job.
She doesn’t know I know, just needed to vent. Any advice gratefully taken.
DD

I would not suggest bankruptcy.. it would ruin your chances of borrowing again.

She sounds as though she has a serious problem and she is being very selfish. I would definitely confront her about it, to prevent any further spending.
I’m no expert on debt, but could you transfer the balance to an interest free credit card just to pay it off? Is that something you’ve already explored?

Also, is she opening them in her own name or yours? I am shocked she’s able to open anything in her own name given her history.

Definitely need to approach her about it though. I would be livid if it was my husband. He isn’t great with money, but slowly over the years he’s learnt to avoid credit cards. We have one credit card (interest free) we keep it in the cupboard so I know he can’t just use it without thinking, and we just use it for emergencies and chip away at the balance while we have the interest period, paying the minimum, or when we can afford a bit more to clear the balance. Then we close the card at the end of the period and get another interest free.

I am not sure how you can curb future spending though. She needs to accept she has a problem and find away of managing it, which I appreciate is easier said than done.

I think it is an account that she has had for a while and recently reactivated. Her ability to find credit is impressive

A interest free loan/ credit is not an option our DMP IS £60k+

Dd

I really don’t know what to say you need to get this out in the open let her family know as well is she working