Court order issues

[Metalmama]

Hello,
I got divorced almost six years ago, and had Legal Aid.
The solicitor who took my case on had never conducted a divorce and as a result, a number of errors have come to light.
1.They hadn't amended the land registry details after the divorce, and so this was done three years ago by another solicitor who pointed this out when they read the order.I have since done this myself.
2.There is nothing in the order stating where our son should live. Currently he is with me, but the court order does not state that should be the case, nor is there any child arrangements. We have attempted to arrange this amicably, but my ex takes holidays whenever he likes and I am left looking after son for consecutive weekends, and have to change my plans whenever he change them with no prior notice, despite me saying not to do this.

1. No child maintenance is paid as he pays the mortgage. Claims he cannot afford it due to his ongoing debts problems. Yet spent Christmas in Australia and Thailand with his new wife and stepdaughter, and has had multiple holidays. Pays nothing towards son and earns £40,000. I do several jobs to keep the house running and child costs, including cleaning. The other solicitor says I could claim but he could refuse saying the mortgage payments are enough, and take the order back to court and pay nothing - hence I have not pursued this!
2. The court order states that I can remain in the house until son (who is 11), completes his full-time education, I die, or I get remarried. I've met a super man and we are engaged! The issue is he lives in the USA ,and no he is not prepared to live over here due to personal reasons I do not wish to reveal on this post. I also do not earn enough for that to happen and have a long term health condition which has given me some issues over the past 18 months.

So where does this leave me? I get married, lose my house as immigration takes around 3 years, and be homeless for that period of time even though my fiance can't and won't be moving in? Ex can make his life and I cannot? We want to get married next year, I want to make my life with this man. Can someone please advise? I am seeing a solicitor on Monday, but any help/advice or feedback from anyone who has been in this situation would really help. Thanks.

A lot of this depends on what your divorce settlement actually was.

The contact situation isn’t great. But you can’t really force him to have the children. In so many ways, missing contact is his loss though.

The maintenance thing will depend on what your consent order actually says. Based on what your solicitor has advised, it sounds like the mortgage payments are a kind of CM. He only earns £40k - that won’t go far if he’s paying for 2 houses. You could go to the CMS but you may find that you’re worse off if he’s not obliged to pay the mortgage.

The marriage thing... with the best will in the world, I think you’re being unreasonable to expect to remarry and still have your exH pay the mortgage while you remain in the house til your DS is in his early 20s (if he goes to university).

Tbh, this is why clean breaks are probably best for just about everyone.

Are you planning on moving to America and taking your son?

@Crustaceans yes I understand that, but feels like I am absolutely trapped now.

@LaurieFairyCake - this is going to take years, it's too soon to make those descisions at the moment.

I'm totally confused

Are you getting married next year but going to live apart - him in the US, you here?

What's the point of that if you need to stay here (and live in your house)

@LaurieFairyCake I can't just marry him and leave as immigration takes time so I have to wait until it all goes through.

What are your long term plans ?? When (or if you ever marry) will you take your son & live in the US ??

Ok, so if you're planning on staying here til sons 18 and finished schooling isn't it in your interest to get married as late as possible so you don't have to give up your house?

I mean you could give up your house and then go through CMS for child support but it seems like a right faff when you could just put off getting married til your son has finished school?