Can XH reduce contributions after divorce if I'm gifted support by family

[dogdaysarecoming]

I'm not yet separated and my husband does not want to separate. He is not willing to discuss fair financial split at the moment. I can only work part time for now as am also caring for my dad. My sister has offered to support me with housing after spilt -husband says if she does, he can reduce his contributions even after divorce- is that right?

This will have no impact whatsoever on maintenance for the DC.

Spousal maintenance is only really awarded nowadays in two circumstances - one is older divorcing couples, where it tides over the period until pension sharing kicks in (because change of returning to workforce, especially if after a protracted period out of it is (wrongly but realistically) much lower than for a younger person). The other, which might apply to you, is an award for a set amount of time to allow for retraining and a return to the workplace. And yes, your expected income would be relevant and it would be wrong not to declare that as part of the financial settlement, just as it would be wrong for him not to declare parts of his income. Though of course with gifts it is a bit tricky, because you do not know for sure that you will get them until you do get them.

Get proper financial and legal advice

Not least because no the above may not apply depending on your individual circumstances, eg if the children of the marriage have additional needs so their RP cannot really return to work in the expected way

Also, going through a professional means you have a bit less to do with an STBX who goes in for making threats. You need to realise that although he is clearly going to argue the toss at every turn, he will not automatically get his way

Is that child maintenance through CMS, or spousal?

Xpost with above much more informative advice!?

Spousal support is also awarded where one partner gives up their career to support the other (not just child rearing but travel overseas where they cannot work) I've been advised I will be awarded this or much increased assets depending on my preference

Typo with the '?' there.

'Spousal support is also awarded where one partner gives up their career to support the other (not just child rearing but travel overseas where they cannot work) I've been advised I will be awarded this or much increased assets depending on my preference'

Yes, I expect that would probably lead to the second type I mentioned, where you would expect an award for a transitional period whilst you re-enter the work force.

And individual legal and financial advice is always needed, so you can decide on other aspects of the financial agreement, such as fair division of assets in light of wider settlement and circumstances surrounding it; and (especially for a longer term non-working spouse) pension arrangements,

As others have said, no impact on child maintenance.

Your STBX shouldn't have to subsidise you working part time so that you can look after your dad. Completely understand why you want to do that, but it's not your ex's responsibility to pay for it. So any Court decision on spousal maintenance will work from the premise that you should macimise your own earning potential, rather than remaining dependent on your ex in the future.

This is the first time I've posted and it's hard to read the tone in replies- I'm feeling very vulnerable at the moment as split between time needed for my dad, caring for my kids, earning money (I have always contributed fully, including more than half the full value of the house) and also supported husband in his careers so he can work the hours he has done. I have no intention of being financially dependent on him longer than I have to, as that is part of the control he has but having taken time out for kids etc, I'm nowhere near him in earning capacity for now which is why my sister is offering to help. However, despite me working towards working full time when I can (sadly after my dad is no longer here), he is intending on going part time.

I don’t think people are trying to be mean. They just want to give you helpful and true information for your situation. This isn’t always the same as giving emotional support when it comes to divorce finances.

The settlement you agree or that gets agreed for you both will take account of a number of factors. As people have explained your needs and therefore share will assume you are maximising your income. Unless there is a reason not to (children, reskilling or ill health) you will be assumed to be able to work full time. That applies to him too.

So if for example I said I need £150k from the pot to buy a house because I cannot get a mortgage due to PT job. The judge could rightly point out that I could work FT and get a bigger mortgage. Reducing my need to say £70k.

The best lesson to learn is not to tell him anything about your plans or intentions.