Raise a glass with me....

[spacewoman99]

.....for my first night in my house with just DC and I. STBXH moved out today, after I've bought him out of the house.

He's still got to move most of his junk but he's sleeping at his new house from tonight onwards. I'm sat on my new Ikea sofa that I assembled myself, surrounded by shed loads of boxes of flat pack furniture. But he's gone. And it feels good.

I'm sad my marriage has failed and he let me down so badly. But the DC and I are fine, and I'm feeling positive for the future.

Cheers !

Graphista, what a dick. Sorry, that must have been really painful for you.

My big fear is when he lines up a step parent for my gorgeous children. What if it's someone who isn't kind? DS is absolutely adorable but has SEN and can be hard work. You've really got to love him to get past his behaviour sometimes.....

And he will be with someone very soon, even if it's not the current OW. He needs looking after

Cheers! Let it be an easy start of a new fabulous journey))

Its a bit of a roller coaster IME spacewoman99.

I filed for divorce a week after H moved out in March and got my Decree Nisi today. I am glad and a little bit sad at the same time.

Our financial split was agreed amicably .... but you still need to jump through the hoops of engaging a solicitor to draw up a financial consent order - I am currently going through the pain of that, thought I had done everything but have a new page full of queries.

Waves to Moffa.

I will be having a glass of tonight OP and I rarely drink, never on a School night!

Cheers Box and Navy . Yes, I am expecting the euphoria to die down at some point. I'm knackered and have had 3 weeks without any parenting from STBXH yet, so much for 50/50......
Still wish I'd done it years ago.....

I am already having Space. Cheers back.

I think its easy to be strong most of the time and that will do for now.

I am enjoying doing all the things H wouldn't do like having the garden landscaped and getting the decorating done, new carpets. Making my home (I too bought our family home) a sanctuary from the world. We will be staying in nicer holiday accommodation than he would agree to on our holiday next month too. It feels like I am reclaiming something and it feels good most of the time with a tiny bit of sadness thrown in.

Don't worry about a step mother yet Space, how old are your DC? Easy to say but I worried about exactly the same thing four months ago. I now know that DD (13) would simply refuse to engage if someone who wasn't nice enough was introduced into her life.

🍾🥂🍷🍻🍹

Actually, I have just checked back and I didn't file for divorce until a month after H left - quick process!

Box, I'm doing the same, making the family home nice. STBXH was really capable of DIY but did fuck all. The worst was he wouldn't let me get anyone in to do it either.

DC are just 6 and 8. I felt really sad tonight when I asked DD if she wanted me to invite STBXH to her choir concert tomorrow night and she said, "he won't want to come" in a really sad voice. And she's right. I won't make them go to stay with him if they don't want to. Unfortunately I don't think he'll mind. I know he won't do anything nice with them, will just stick them in front of the tv while he's on his phone.

Box, enjoy your holiday! Where are you going?

Thanks Space, oddly I had the same situation here with DIY. When I bought DD a load of wooden furniture from Ikea she asked me why I always did everything. It was the solid wood stuff and heavy and I put it all together without an offer of help.

I am going through that here right now, DD doesn't want to stay with her Dad. I encourage her to contact him all the time and would love her to be happy to stay with him every other Saturday night (because I could make plans for myself amongst other things), but she doesn't want to and I won't force her. Such a shame, I do everything I can to encourage it. My own dad is amazing and I have been very close to him all my life -sad DD won't have that really.

Northumberland coast (somewhere I love), lovely cottage within walking distance of a beach this summer but I have also booked an adventure holiday to Africa in the winter.

Box I love Northumbria. I come from North Yorkshire originally and we're heading there in the summer hols to stay with family.

Sounds like we're in a similar situation. STBXH has been moving out for2 weeks now . Unlike normal people he hasn't hired a van, has been doing it by car which is taking forever. Unfortunately he's a hoarder, so there's A LOT of stuff to move. I'm being reasonable ( I think ) in letting him do it gradually, but have decorators starting tomorrow so really needed him to get his finger out! Its difficult trying to keep it amicable at times, isn't it?

Wow Space I had exactly the same drip drip drip moving out of a hoarder. We downsized last year thankfully but still have a big house!

I live on the edge of the Dales Space . Grew up in the Dales, lived all over the UK and on three continents (not at the same time!) but came 'home' a few years ago.

I went no contact, haven't seen him since the day he left - best for me that way.

Congrats OP! It really is bliss, isn't it?

It is one year for me since I left XH and it's been the happiest year of my life!