I'm in shock at the behaviour of my husband (soon to be ex husband) behaviour and can't seem to move on past this.
Husband told me he was leaving for someone else about 8 months ago as he said he had met a woman online in another country and she was his sole mate, after he told me he became emotionally and verbally abusive, spoke down to me, told me I wouldn't get far without him and that he didn't have to pay anything either towards the rent (we are in a joint tenancy) or towards his child.
Swearing at me and ignoring me while he still lived with me and daughter, I found out from his new partner (who messaged me attacking me by saying I was a bad mother as well as gloating about husband leaving!) that he had recorded me on his phone and played our conversations to her and that I was immature.
When I think back it must have been when we were in the car and I remember him saying things that upset me and I reacted to. I found this betrayal of a private conversation played back between them just unbelievable and don't understand how anyone could do that!
He planned to take our daughter to meet the woman without telling me when she came over to visit and told daughter not to tell me, which she felt guilty about. He was still living in the home at this point so was going to sneak her out without me knowing
This was after he had known her two weeks and would be the first time they met, he had already told her she was new stepmother and had new stepsisters and brother!
He also put her on the phone to me where she started to swear at me and it seemed calculated like they had planned it between them, he was smirking at this point and the pair began talking about me on the phone and mocking me. I was at home and I felt cornered and attacked. I still can't get over this.
He has now left the country to live with her and has slowly been tailing off contact with daughter who is 12. He didn't tell her he was going and hadn't seen her in 4 months before this.
She is devastated and I'm fuming on her part as she had argued with her dad before he left about his actions and said she hated him and new partner. He told her to apologise to him and his new partner in person or he was "done" with her!!
He isn't paying any maintenance now as it was set up just before he left and now he's abroad, but my main concern is his behaviour as I find it abusive and controlling to her, he has also taken out his temper on her and I saw the other side to him. He was blaming me for the affair and blowing up before but now he seems to be blaming daughter for them not being in touch.
He only wanted to see her once a fortnight and then he was too busy so she felt abandoned!
He seemed to be the family man and was very neglectful to me but always seemed to love his daughter, which is worse for her.
She says she's so confused and now he's gone and has not bothered to contact her, he had blocked me on his phone but has now blocked her as well!
Can't.believe he's treated his daughter this way and just so angry! Daughter has had issues and is a mess!
I can't make sense of this still, all the spite and just dumping his daughter like that, when neither of us did anything to deserve it!