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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

I found a reminder in my husband phone "get syphilis test done"

21 replies

LeoZam · 27/06/2019 19:20

Hi all,

I have been marriage for almost 3 years and I have 2 babies. Last year I had to travel pregnant for work reasons (less than 3 months) and left my husband during this time. We tried to see each other twice in a month.

We are expats in a city that everyone mentions that are a lot of prostitution.

My husband is a very private person and he keeps his phone with password all the time. Today for first time he left me using his phone for an urgent call and left the flat. My call got cut and then some reminders appears in his phone and the third on the list was "get syphilis test done". I have searched in google how you get syphilis having the hope it was not only by sexual transition and it seems it is only way. This reminder is from last year as appears the date the period I was away ( he stopped using that phone last year so it was a old reminder). Today I am a bit emotional as I had a call with my mum and did not give me good news and now I saw this reminder and I can not think what I should do. I need an advise. Many thanks all

OP posts:
PicsInRed · 27/06/2019 19:43

Syphilis, for Christ sake!
He's happily risking transmission of syphilis to you - and to any unborn children! Google that particular horror story. Long term syphilis infection in you and congenital syphilis in children.

This one's not a keeper. In the bin. 🗑

And lots of Flowers

MakeAWhish · 27/06/2019 19:47

Are you sure it couldn't have been a friend/colleague putting it in there for a joke? I mean, is it really the sort of thing you'd need a reminder for? 🥴

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 27/06/2019 19:48

That's an odd one to have a reminder for.

Surely no one would forget that.

gamerchick · 27/06/2019 19:52

Erm that shit can damage a pregnancy. I'd book a full screen for yourself. Not sure whether you've given birth or not but book a screen anyway.

wobytide · 27/06/2019 20:51

I thought much the same as MakeAWhish.

You wouldn't put a reminder in to "get a syphilis test", if he was that concerned he would have booked it and the reminder would be for the test.

If you were away on those dates then the more plausible reason is he went out with friends and one has played a stupid trick.

But by all means follow the erstwhile advice to LTB in true mumsnet style

Bluerussian · 27/06/2019 20:55

Speak to him about it, op. Soon.

CherryPavlova · 27/06/2019 20:59

You need a conversation but he’d be pretty dim to put the detail in. I suspect it’s a friend pranking .

PicsInRed · 27/06/2019 21:28

He's secretive, including with his phone and it just happens that this coincides with a time when OP was away and they live in an area rife with opportunity.

Really, I think we give these guys far too much credit for craftiness and intelligence. How do they get caught? Stupid shit like this.

They invariably do something breathtakingly stupid...usually when they've been at it for a while and get careless and have a pregnant partner they really want to be careful not to transmit syphilis too, cos they are such a great guy, so better set a reminder for that syphilis test!

LemonTT · 27/06/2019 22:23

Well

Who would put that in the phone. Get Test done, yes. GUM appointment (or local equivalent) STD screen yes. But why Syphilis specifically. Too fucking hard to spell.

Stranger things happen in rl but not on MN.

Keepthebloodynoisedown · 27/06/2019 22:56

I really can’t see anyone putting that in their phone. As pps have said something like std test, clinic, but not that.
On the other hand, it is something I can see one of dps mates putting in his phone as a laugh, because when they go out for a drink together they seem to regress back to teenagers.

Original poster
LeoZam · 28/06/2019 06:14

My husband put a reminder for everything. So I believe he wrote this reminder unfortunately

OP posts:
Original poster
LeoZam · 28/06/2019 06:16

Thanks all for your advise. I will talk to him

OP posts:
CadburysTastesVileNow · 28/06/2019 06:46

Could it be an autioorrect? For eyesight test or something

CadburysTastesVileNow · 28/06/2019 06:46

If he spelled it wrongly when he was putting it in

fraxion · 28/06/2019 06:48

I can't fathom why a reminder from last year came up.

Mehmum · 28/06/2019 06:49

What did he say?

aposterhasnoname · 28/06/2019 06:50

Seems oddly specific to me. Surely you’d just put get tested or similar.

Bluerussian · 28/06/2019 14:29

Women are automatically tested for syphilis when they're pregnant.

I hope you've spoken to your husband about this, LeoZam. I think it is unlikely that he has put you at risk but you need reassurance. Not only that but you have a right to know why he needed a reminder to be checked.

I'm hoping there is a reasonable and believable explanation. Please do come back and tell us, you're anonymous here.

Flowers
PicsInRed · 28/06/2019 19:21

Women are automatically tested for syphilis when they're pregnant.

That depends on the country. OP is abroad.

Bluerussian · 29/06/2019 12:58

Oh yes, she says they are 'ex pats'. Syphilis testing on pregnant women is done in the UK.

ArthurD · 05/07/2019 20:34

Just ask him.

It could be something entirely innocuous. Maybe he just wanted to check to make sure he'd never had it in the past. Or perhaps he was worried about a rash and thought perhaps he caught something from you. He's not going to say that though because that would cause a bigger conflict.

All I'm saying is don't necessarily think the worst. You need to ask him.

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