Anyone been successful chasing maintenance when ex lives abroad?

[maria1947]

Just found out my ex has moved abroad, he's living with his new partner which is the reason he left me and daughter. So I knew it was happening but not what would happen next. Since he has said to dd many times that he wouldn't talk and so has not been in contact as she was questioning him about the affair. He had told her to accept it or he was 'done' she is in shock, he didn't even tell her he was going and has not seen her in 5 months.

Guess I shouldn't be surprised by his behaviour but It's left me in financial difficulty as he was paying half the rent as we had signed a 12 month lease before he left and he was paying half, it's due up in August. Plus he was paying maintenance which has also stopped. I work part time as I have no childcare and claim benefits since he left. I used to work full time but I have no family near and friends can't help. Really worried at the moment as I won't be able to cover the rent and bills and food on what I earn and get in universal credits, I'm talking to a debt charity who are trying to help as I have no money since he stopped paying rent and maintenance to cover my basic living costs.

Didn't mean for it to be such a long post, I feel really overwhelmed at the moment and our daughter is in a state

He has just sent divorce papers to me as well and I don't know if I will have to find somewhere to live.

It's going to be difficult but I know it will get sorted eventually, but I am going to see if I can ask for maintenance to be paid from abroad through the courts. No idea how difficult this will be or how long it will take. He has just moved to Germany, quit his job and moved in with his new partner and 3 children. He told me about her before he left to live with his mum so he could save up to be with her. I have no idea of his address or if he's working and I had been completely blocked on his phone when he left. He has now blocked his daughter as well.

I know that in Germany if someone is not making their child maintenance payments it is possible to go through the courts and have the amount defucted from his salary by his employer an paid directly to you. What I don't know is if this is possible when you are living abroad or if it only applies if you are living in Germany too. But it might be worth investigating further. It would however involve contracting a lawyer and it might be quite a pricey route to go down if you are not eligible for legal aid.

I have divorced friends in Germany and it seems child maintenance should be easier to extract from someone resident in Germany than the UK if you can find out which town he's living in, and if he's working. I know people who get spousal maintenance here too (apparently spousal maintenance for 1/3 of the number of years you were married is fairly common if you are resident parent and you were financially dependant before the split).

However there is a 2 year apprenticeship qualification for warehouse work here You need qualifications for everything, and to do an apprenticeship you need at least lower intermediate German, all apprenticeships have a fairly significant amount of classroom based lessons and written exams as well as work based learning... Most jobs pay better than the UK if you have the relevant qualifications, but your ex is a long way from that point.

You need to have been resident 8 years before you can apply for citizenship. Brexit might mean his only chance to stay in Germany without official employment is to marry his new woman immediately - which obviously he can't do as he's still married to you.

So he's probably stuffed and will probably have to return to the UK unless he tries to stay illegally, which is difficult in Germany as everyone has to register with the town hall. Without being registered he can't own or be insured on a car, take out medical insurance or be insured by the state of unemployed, work or claim benefits. He'll be stuffed.

An update on the Remo, yes it's very frustrating and they seem to fob you off!! My nearest is Bury st Edmunds, you can only contact by email and they wouldn't advise which form I needed but to fill in an enquiry form, sent off several weeks later

I email them asking if they had received, was told they are still looking at forms from beginning of July so will be at end of August until they look at mine!! That's before I've even sent them the actual form and I'd been advised by CAB to do it before we leave EU... I don't hold out much hope!!

Child maintenance have said that if my ex moves back payment will be taken from his wages when he starts work as he didn't inform them he was stopping paying or leaving country so at least they take it seriously although nothing they can do.

Really want to get divorce through as I want to move on and get closure but I haven't heard back as ex had put down grounds for unreasonable behaviour that the judge didn't accept and has not yet amended and sent back off. Really frustrating as I can't do anything!!

Address was not on divorce papers, so I am not able to contact ex for divorce and move things along.

Exes mum will not give address or even ask ex to contact me or let me know where he is, she said it was my problem not hers that he's not paying maintenance and has not contacted his daughter!!

I think it will be a waiting game and see what happens after Brexit, ex may have to move back and possibly face child maintenance...

I actually believe ex will try to wriggle out of anything now that involves any sort of money towards daughter wether he is working or not.. when he left we had signed a joint tenancy and he told me before he left that he wouldn't pay half and didn't have to, only reason he did pay half was that I had to cut down my hours and claim as sole parent, and if I could not pay I said they could easily chase him for his half.

He was working and had refused to look after daughter on job offers that were full time as they involved weekends, said he was too busy..

When he left for Germany he stopped paying half rent to me and maintenance, his mum has now told me that she has been paying him half the rent when he stopped work so I would not be out of pocket.. will have to check with estate agents about this , I've been paying all rent for last 2 months. So angry as benefits won't give the help with housing, just half as ex is on tenancy, it's been a real struggle.

If ex hasn't paid the rent that his mother gave him I assume he has pocketed it from his mum, but I will find out from estate agents and landlord.