Child maintenance question.

[spacewoman99]

DH and I are currently separating. We've agreed that the DC will stay with me in the family home (I'm buying him out) but that he will have them overnight once a week and then EOW. I've used the CMS calculator and it states he should pay £34 a week in child maintenance.

My question is: what is this supposed to cover? School dinners, after school clubs, childcare, clothes, shoes? Or would I be justified in asking him for half of the above costs on top of the £34?

I think it’s meabt to cover all those things. On the CMS website somewhere it says that if a non-resident parent gives extra money for certain things (I think the example they used was school uniform) then they can claim for a reduction.

Crap, isn’t it? It’s really crap.

Thanks for your reply. Yep, it's crap. The main reason I'm leaving him is the fact that he has never contributed fairly financially, and I have been left to pay for everything while he kept his earnings as 'pocket money' 😡.

TBH I think it's unlikely I'll get a penny anyway as he's self employed and doesn't put much through the books, so CMS won't get anywhere with him.

The CMS seems to think kids live on air.

That's rubbish OP. I share my son 50/50. I get no maintenance and I don't work

Thanks all. I was really shocked that it was only £17 per week per child . That doesn't even cover after school club and swimming lesson, not to mention school trips, school uniform, shoes, food etc etc. It's not like he's on a minimum wage job either, just very good at hiding what he earns .

I think have a talk with him, ask him if he took the children and gave him that little a month for the children how he would cope.

In your situation, I’d use a solicitor/mediation to agree a fair set amount of child maintenance and have that written into your financial agreement/arrangement for children. It’s not fair to base it on a fictitious income.

My self-employed ex has just got stingier since we split and especially since he remarried. Now he’s formed a limited company and pays himself a salary of £11k PA - oh look! Coincidentally hat under the tax threshold! 🙄 - so he’s only giving me £12 a week for TWO children. It’s absolute bollocks.

He must earn a pittance if that’s all your entitled to.

I would suggest you try to negotiate a set amount rather than going through cms, even if he's quite a low earner, £100 a month should be a minimum

He earns between £300 to £400 a week, so I put £300 into the calculator to be on the generous side.

To be fair, he does need to be able to afford to rent a 2 bedroom place so the children have somewhere to stay with him. His rent is going to be £595 a month.

We've done everything without a solicitor so far, including agreeing the share of equity (50%). I'm aware I'm probably entitled to more, but I also have a very good pension I'd rather not share too.....

HasThisSoddingNameGoneToo that is shocking! So bloody unfair. I'm livid for you. £6 a week for a child is an insult.

How has it worked financially ore- split? Ie how much did he contribute? You said he didn't contribute that much so is it the case that you've been paying it all anyway?

Only you know how reasonable he might be re keeping the kids 'stability'. Ie keeping clubs going etc.

If you can agree a better amount via mediation, get it written in as a global order rather than maintenance when you send for court signing. Child maintenance can be changed after 12 months by either party via CMS( so he could revert back to a low figure), but a global order requires going back towards court. At the very least ensure he pays any costs for his days ( School dinner/Childcare etc)

Spa yep, I've paid 100% of the mortgage, all the bills, debt repayments, childcare, clothes , clubs etc for the last 5 years. He occasionally did a food shop.

So I've been supporting him financially. I'll be financially better off when we split.

Despite all the above, it's more important to me to remain amicable for the sake of the children, than to get into rows about how much he owes me. I have a decent ( but not great) salary so can afford the increased mortgage, bills, food etc with about £500 a month 'spare' money left. So I'll manage, just won't be much to put away for a holiday etc.

Am I being a mug? I'm 99% sure he'll have a new woman within a couple of months.

On the plus side you will not be subsiding him anymore

Am I being a mug?

I don’t know. I can totally understand your wanting to just cut your losses and get on with your life. I think only an experienced family-law solicitor could tell you if you’re being too generous.

If he gets a new woman, let’s hope she’s reasonable and also a mum so she’ll have (we hope!) some positive influence over him. And not be happy to see his D.C. starve, like my horrible ex’s new (childless) wife.

You can ask for half but he doesn't have to provide it if he's paying the calculated maintenance.

He should though - you'd hope he would anyway!