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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Need help and advice pleaseeeee !!!

4 replies

Pie18 · 10/06/2019 09:27

Basically I’ve split with my ex partner because I went on my first night out in nearly two years 3 months after giving birth and he’s so controlling and doesn’t like me going out, name calling me and all my family, , ugly, fat, disgusting, my mums fat and horrible, my stepdads a pedo, my little brothers a freak, he laughed at the fact my 12 year old brother broke his nose in an accident and threatened to ‘make it worse’... and much more, the night I went out he threw all my clothes in the garden in the rain and threatened to throw our daughters clothes in the garden if I didn’t come home (this was at 9:30pm) my mum was babysitting our daughter, then when I told him I was staying at my mums he said our daughter isn’t his baby as she’s “too * ugly” all that died down and he continued to harass me, he’s demanded for money back for milk and nappies he’s bought and said she’s not his baby a few times, I gave in and started to take her to see him at his house as he won’t come mine as my parents don’t like him due to him being physically abusive in the past to me, he did come a couple times and my mum welcomed him and allowed him to come in and still would let him come to see his daughter now, but because I won’t get back with him and because I won’t spend the night he starts the abuse again, constantly harassing me, he’s saying he will leave me alone if I let him take her but I really don’t want to let him take her... he never bonded with her when we was together, he doesn’t know her and what she wants and needs and I know she wouldn’t settle with me not being there and the things he’s said about her in his nasty outbursts just makes me worry, also when we’ve lived together he’s done a few things which made me think he had no awareness of her being there, for example I was holding her once and asked him to get me something and he threw it at me, I was holding her and it hit her... it was an accident of course but he just doesn’t think, he smokes a lot of weed every single day also and has tendencies to fall asleep and I don’t think his mental health is to good as it’s not normal to be able to call your own baby names right? I just want to know what other mums would do in my situation, would you let him take her? My daughters 6 months old now, I’m just stuck on what to do and it’s starting to get me down as I always end up feeling guilty that he’s not seeing her and that I should be taking her to see him and I’m being made out to be the bad one for him and his family not seeing her, they all know where we live? Should they be making the effort instead of me.. if he hadn’t ever called her and bonded with her the way he should of instead of acting like she’s just my daughter things would be different, it’s just hard x

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 10/06/2019 14:21

Dear God, stay away from this man and keep your DD away from him too. Seriously. He is abusive, he is dangerous and cannot be trusted to look after her.

If you let him take her you are putting her is serious fucking danger. Please re-read your post.

he threw all my clothes in the garden in the rain

he smokes a lot of weed

my parents don’t like him due to him being physically abusive in the past to me

asked him to get me something and he threw it at me, I was holding her and it hit her

the things he’s said about her in his nasty outbursts just makes me worry

Do you seriously need to question this?

Pie18 · 10/06/2019 15:44

I know, I always end up feeling guilty that he doesn’t see her but it’s no fault of mine and he’s not a nice person at all... Thankyou x

OP posts:
Pie18 · 10/06/2019 15:45

And I’d of never let him take her anyway, just wanted to see what others would do in that situation x

OP posts:
GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 10/06/2019 16:08

I know I'm only one person and I think it was brave of you to post. Please do not EVER let him take her. Take steps to protect yourself and your DD from this horrible man and his horrible family.

It sounds as though you don't live together which is good. And it sounds as though your parents have the measure of him.

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