I need help!

[Weewand]

First time posting or even talking to anyone ... I have been with my husband for 6 years a married 3 .... we have a 4 month old baby together!! Basically my husband doesn't know if we should be together ....

A year into our married I found out he had an affair while away with work ( he is in the military) ... I chose to forgive him and we choose to move on... since then I have left the military and have found a job we have a home and the I got pregnant ... everything was ok .... we had occasional fights etc since giving birth my husband has been based away during week days sometimes had to be away for two weeks so missed quite a bit of our sons life....

Now he has come home and has said he doesn't think he is happy and has said that I have changed I have made him
Unhappy ....

I'm crushed I don't know what to do I have never spoken About his affair it was such a huge thing for me and know he says I make him unhappy and I'm lost I don't know what to do if I should change and just try and be who I was when we first met before any of this happened ... I want our family I want our baby to have both parentS... I'm so scared and so afraid if he leaves me!

Better it’s over now than when your in your 50s and been married over 25 years.
There are a lot of us in this position.Painful but for the best yes it’s true both parents make a big differences to a child’s welfare but only if the quality of the parenting is good.
Work finances accommodations child care start thinking about these issues,
Do you have anyone sensible to talk too are your parents available.
Truly being this fortunate is rare you have your whole life to find and you will find happiness Mark my words.
All the best and you are not alone.

Transitioning from a military life to a normal life is a big change i would think. Can you talk to anyone that has done this that you know?

You are actually lucky, even if it doesn't seem to be that way right now, that he is being honest with you and telling it like it is. Any way it happens is tough but I assume you are young and have many options ahead of you. I found out much later than you, after more than thirty years and two children, that my husband didn't think he was cut out to be in a relationship and he found me to be a burden! It's taken nine years to make sense of it all and try to end my marriage. I have ended up with a bad divorce settlement and on my own with no income at 56, trying to resurrect a career he crushed out of me. If I had known i was on my own at the beginning, instead of being lied to and cheated on, deceived and manipulated for all these years, i would have made very different decisions and had another life entirely. Now, in many ways, my best years, and most of my years probably, are behind me. He is doing you a favour if you can see it. A child needs one good parent and you can only be that good parent if you are allowed to be. A man child will not help you and will only hinder you. You are alone now and afraid. Tell anyone and everyone you can what is going on. you will find some support and you will find the strength. So true when they say, once a cheat, always a cheat. If he's done it before, he will again. you deserve more than that. This is not normal, it isn't right. You will be better off without him. Don't let your son see this as normal. Don't let him grow up to treat women in the same way because you allowed it to happen to you. my heart goes out to you but try to see this as a blessing in disguised. I truly believe he is doing you a favour. That he blames his behaviour on you and says that you have made him unhappy is a very big red flag. He isn't being accountable and is seeking to blame you for the issues he has. xoxo