What are the reasons people get divorced other than the obvious, cheating?

[cantbeatfreshsheets]

There must be tons of reasons why people head down the road to divorce. But what are some of them? I'm curious? Need some help establishing what's classed as acceptable & what's not. controversial I know.

Control, violence,coercive behaviour, addiction, just being a total arse?

Financial problems and differences.
Mismatched ambitions.
Differences in parenting, or wanting kids in the first place.
Growing apart.
Mismatched interest in sex.
General feeling of unhappiness, that gets attributed to the spouse.

"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." ― Leo Tolstoy , Anna Karenina.

My friend got divorced after two years, she realized that she loved him as a friend, but wasn't feeling the zing she should.
She decided to leave while things were still good, so there was less harm.
It's been 15 years, and she is still friends with him, and each has gone on to find their own zinger, as it were.

No violence, no hate, no cheating, nothing bad, just not enough of the good stuff.

You don't have to have a bigger reason than being unhappy. You're allowed to leave without other people confirming whether its "acceptable" or not - it's your life!

Primary reason most people I know are divorced or divorcing is not being happy with their spouse.

Some people will put up with being cheated on repeatedly and remain married, so there isn't anything that's classed as not acceptable because as PP said your life.

4 main reasons for divorce aside from adultery:

Money - debt problems, not having some, financial control etc
Children - one wants one, one doesnt, how to bring up
In-laws
Religion - probably less so these days

Realising that you have completely different visions of your future lives, and that both are genuinely valid but incompatible.

I divorced my first husband as I simply wasn't in love with him, and I never should have married him in the first place. He is a perfectly decent human being and I'm glad that he found someone else and has a family with her (as I do with DH).

Why do you need help in clarifying what's acceptable, OP?

Financial abuse.
Found out on a Sunday that actually dh earned a decent ish wage after a year of pleading poverty and me borrowing to pay bills and struggling to feed us all.
I text him Mon to move out and haven't seen him for since the Sunday!

Husband announced he was 'gender neutral'.

Because he "wants a change" probably the number one reason for longer marriages

My ex husband was physically and emotionally abusive and an alcoholic

In my case alcoholism and associated behaviour - complete detachment from family, emotional neglect and later on abuse of our DDs. I stuck with him for far too long.

An opportunity came along for me to change my life, and dh wasn’t going to get in the way. So it was best to separate.

For me it was like that phrase, death by a thousand cuts.

XH only participated in a half-hearted, passive manner in our marriage. There were issues with sex, issues with him behaving very disrespectfully towards me, issues with finances- none of them major things, but added all together made me feel like a servant rather than a beloved wife.

Once I noticed all those things it was the beginning of the end really. I started matching his level of effort in the marriage and it went down the pan within two years.

I'm a family lawyer specialising in the financial side of divorce. I deal with divorce every single day! I have seen so, so many different reasons for divorce - both the reasons that are put on the petition, and the reasons that clients talk about in conference.
Things that crop up most often are:

The children have grown up, left home, and the couple realise that they just have nothing to say to one another
One person being overly dedicated to their career
Bereavement (especially death of a parent) seems to make people re-evaluate everything, including their relationship
One party having ongoing mental health issues - alcoholism, OCD, depression - that the other party can't support any more
Adultery (although not as common as you might think)
Simply growing apart
Money stress and worries

Of course, those are the standard ones, but every now and again you have something truly crazy cross your desk!

I divorced my first husband for DV and stealing from me.
I'm divorcing my second husband because after getting married it became evident that he was a cocklodger and his emotionally abusive behaviour and gaslighting gave me a nervous breakdown.
I don't intend to marry again!