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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

What do you regret not doing during your marriage

29 replies

Yellowshirt · 05/05/2019 02:01

Uuuuummmmm

OP posts:
Yellowshirt · 05/05/2019 02:06

I said every day ""I love you " I wish I had also something like "goodnight beautiful lady every single day. She only sees the bad in me now. I wish she knew I absolutely worshipped her. Yep I was a grumpy bloody sod sometimes but I absolutely loved her

OP posts:
Reasonstobeearful · 05/05/2019 02:10

Bumsex.

Reasonstobeearful · 05/05/2019 02:10

Not really.

Hotterthanahotthing · 05/05/2019 02:13

Leaving sooner is my main regret,it has taken a long time to repair the damage to my DD.Shes better than she was but gets anxious easily and has social difficulties.

Palaver1 · 05/05/2019 03:32

Leaving

Birdie6 · 05/05/2019 03:50

I regret staying as long as I did.

barryfromclareisfit · 05/05/2019 03:56

I regret not calling the police when he tried to kill me.

Monty27 · 05/05/2019 04:10

@barryfromclareisfit
I hope you've recovered. Flowers

Monty27 · 05/05/2019 04:14

I regret feeling that he was better than me. He wasn't. It didn't end well. We spent a fortune on barristers and he still boasted that he spent more than me.
Oh it's a question and a half.

EmpressLesbianInChair · 05/05/2019 06:14

I regret not leaving sooner.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 05/05/2019 07:38

I also regret not leaving sooner

stucknoue · 05/05/2019 08:14

Actually should probably have split 10 years ago when I had no ties to this area (we moved for his job) we had sold our house and were renting.

Otter71 · 05/05/2019 08:39

Same as many, should have left sooner, or ideally found a way to stay and have him go,...

To have gone on my own terms rather than being told to go and having everything I kept packed for me by STBXH... 😭

Pippioddstocking · 05/05/2019 08:44

Not putting in more effort to our relationship .
He was an arse but I think I was also one too .
Getting complacent .
Bizzarly also not leaving sooner .

Why do you ask OP?

InTheHeatofLisbon · 05/05/2019 08:46

Not leaving as soon as the lines came up on the pregnancy test. That's the moment in my life that stands out as making the wrong decision.

GreatMindsDontSleep · 05/05/2019 08:56

Getting him to have a vasectomy so he can't start a fresh new exciting family every few years when he gets bored with the one he's got.

GrumpyOldMare · 05/05/2019 09:08

Not leaving sooner. Not pressing charges sooner.

megrichardson · 05/05/2019 09:11

Same here, I wish I had left a lot sooner

Frazzels · 05/05/2019 09:19

I regret being so oblivious to what he was really like and tbh I regret marrying him, way too much hassle in the end

NotBeingRobbed · 05/05/2019 10:05

I regret ever meeting him.

PicsInRed · 05/05/2019 17:59

I wish I never met mine too.
Next best thing, wish I left first time he "disappointed" me.
Should have left when I was pregnant.
Should have left when I had a baby and he threatened to take my baby away.
All I did was delay the inevitable and allow him to subject me to years more of abuse.

Always leave the first time.

CF43 · 05/05/2019 20:35

Should have left sooner, staying for the children, not wanting to disappoint my parents - very old fashioned.

Giving up my independance, should have returned to work sooner, not having my own money.

Telling him to move out and leave us alone.

I regret putting things off what should have been done, now i am scared of not having enough money for things when he has lots.

Having more me time, why do men get plenty of me time but we don't. How comes we can't sit up stairs and sulk for 3 hours because we turned 40, or dinner was late or going to bed early because we are tired. Sorry I hate him.

Palaver1 · 05/05/2019 21:10

CF43 First paragraph sums me

NotBeingRobbed · 05/05/2019 21:38

@CF43 me too. But now I am just starting to be proud of myself for being the first generation of my family to get divorced. Children are happier and so am I without him.

WheelyCote · 05/05/2019 21:59

Regret asking him to leave a career he hated and moaned about.

He was even more miserable after leaving. I always thought his job was to blame....it turned out...the negative, moodiness was just his personality. He was unbearable at times. Wasnt a job he could walk back into...for that i truly regret and am sorry i asked him to leave.

Wish id supported him more. Being older and wiser i now know / believe he was very depressed after he left. I ended up believing i wasnt someone who could make him happy.

Things may have come between us but i truly loved him and still miss him, genuinely miss him. Even if he was a misersble nob