Financial Mediation

[CF43]

Hi,

So I had my first session at financial mediation today, we went through the whole process again and a few things come to light, we have been urguing for months about how much the house was worth and he sit's there and comes out with a completely new figure, also it has come to light that he has stopped my overdraft limited to £2K and that he has hidden 8K from the main accounts, when asked about he just shrugged and said they were still there just not on the offset mortgage.

And then to top it off he says that acutually he would quite like to keep the house, but i have been told that i can not have the house as it beyond my needs, so the whole process in need basis and he says no its about a fair settlement.

My solicitor has informed me that there is no way I will be able to keep a four bedroomed detached house as it exceeds our needs, so what makes it that he can suddenly turn round and say he needs the place, all the way though he has said he can not afford a high mortgage and yet today he said he could if that was what he choose to do.

Do I give him a chance to make good through mediation or take the piece of ...... to court.

What do you guys think?

Why are you arguing about how much the house is worth? Surely you just get someone round to value it professionally?

How has he managed to stop your overdraft? Surely only you can control your account and your overdraft.

How many children do you have and what are the arrangements for them?

How long were you married for?

Sorry to bombard you but need more info

He has always said that he house was worth less than what the market valuations indicated to stall the process and inflict more costs on myself with my solicitor letters going back and forth, it has taken so long had to have the house valued 3 times, so have gone with the final figure recently.

It is a joint account in both names and he has just phoned the bank up and changed the limit, he is refusing to put anymore money in the bank account so when it goes upto 2K the account will be frozen.

We have one son 8 we have sorted out contact arrangments but he is refusing to sign the mediation paperwork to make them legal.

We have been married for 10 years this year, got the nici through but not the absolute as yet. Been together since 2000. co-habitated since 2001.

I have a feeling that as he claims in previous correspondance that he can only afford a 120K mortgage that his parents are stumping up the cash.

OP Parenting Plans are informal agreements if your stbex refuses to sign it then get your mediator to sign the C100 form and apply to court for a Child Arrangements Order.

While you have to pay the court fee, you can represent yourself as a litigant-in-person and use the Parenting Plan as a template for the order you are seeking. Simply state on the form the truth about why you want an order and what other aspects of his behaviour show that he isn't following the Parenting Plan.

I suspect if your stbex realises you are for a Child Arrangements Order he will sign it rather than pay loads of money to be represented at a hearing and having something imposed on him.

Can the child arrangements order be implemented to the agreements we made in mediation or will the judge then decide for us.

We did make up quite a good and fair arrangement but for some reason he is stalling on signing the paperwork.

It's completely up to the judge and what your stbex decides to do.

I have mediation again this afternoon, this will be his last chance as I can't afford anymore payments after this.

I am hoping he will come to his senses.

If your on a low income you can get legal aid for mediation in case you didn't know

Well mediation was a waste of time I think the mediator is on my husband's side and we sat there for about an hour and I got a further 10K from him but only 35% of his pension and no spousal maintenance and no part of his company shares.

I have sent it off to my solicitor but because they both sat there and said I could find housing for less they will not be offering anymore money and no spousal arrangements.

Most of my money comes from benefits at the moment so at the end of the month if I am very lucky and don't overspend on anything shopping or food, or petrol i may have £100 spare for an emergency.

I don't know if my solicitor can wangle anymore out of them or if she is going to say go to court but I know it is a huge risk, I can now afford to buy a house on what he is offereing not what I wanted but can buy something at the moment if it is done quickly. But how are we supposed to live on a daily basis.

So if you've spent a few hundred quid on mediation to get an extra £10k and now admit you can afford to house yourself on the agreement then you need to consider how much you can afford to lose in court fees versus how much extra you think you will be getting.

Mediators aren't on anyones sides they just have to be rational and aren't emotionally involved but there to try and get you both to realise what a likely outcome is if you really want to spend a fortune in the court process

This is assuming that once he takes it back to his solicitors he agrees to go through with that amount, otherwise it is all for nothing again like the child contact.
However even if i can now afford a house, how am i supposed to be able to live in it?

Presumably you had gone armed with documents or workings to show what you can afford to live on and would need. Also if currently most income is from benefits is the expectation that you start to find work at some point or is that a permanent state that you would be reliant on benefits? Presumably if there was no suggestion of Spousal being a factor then from the evidence the Mediator saw they must have assumed there was no requirement? Sorry not really enough details to be going on

They didn't really get that far because they said what was offered was a fair settlement to my ex and I could house myself cheaper if i needed too (doesn't matter that the houses cheaper would be in a rougher area or known for antisocial behaviour) I would have a roof over my head, with enough money assumably to afford it.

I am working part time but I am hoping to get into further education and training so that in 12 to 18 months time I can get a better paid position. So at present most of it would come from benefits.

As i say they didn't go into the outgoings being met by his contributions and benefits being enough. We would have to budget for everything which I know is no bad thing, but as we know life throws us a few surprises every now and again. My car recently cost me £700 which I had to pay from my benefits as exH refused to help or contribute to it.

if he’s ur ex, why should be contribute to ur car

So in mediation yesterday, what percentage of the assets did you agree to?

Because we are still legally married and live in the same household at the moment. He is still legally supposed to pay for my debts if you like and I couldn't afford it, had to borrow some money off my parents.

I think it comes out at 68% overall. So he says I would have to sit down and do the sums.

I think if you've agreed between you that you will end up with 68% of the assets then you've got a good deal.