Two months separated and feel so alone

[jeshow]

As the title says, I separated from my wife two months back and moved out of the family home. She cheated on me last year and whilst we went to counselling as I wanted to work things out she just wasn't interested anymore. It has broken my heart.

We'd been together for 13 years and I never thought anything like this would happen. We have two beautiful children and I thought we were really happy. Within two weeks of separation she was seeing another man which has been really hard to take.

I just feel so alone most of the time. I hate waking up alone, I hate not having someone to share my life with. I just feel very hopeless at the moment. My wife was the only person I'd ever dated and right now it feels like I'll face the rest of my life alone.

I'd really appreciate to hear from anywhere who's going through a similar situation or has been here and come out the other side. I could with some hope. Thanks for reading.

The memories are the hardest, plus thoughts of what "should have been".

It is such an old cliche, but it is true, time is the only healer, and as time goes by, it becomes less and less. I totally understand your pain though because I went through it and never believed that it would go away

Oh @karenb6702 I’m so sorry you’re where you are. Mine left 4 weeks ago, and it’s jysy horrible xxx

I feel alone despite him still being here, it's odd because we get on fine, he's sitting inches from me yet he sleeps in the spare room and just disappear at the weekend without saying a word

My best advice is to share with anyone, and then if someone has said ‘hey, let me know if I can help’, then take them up on it. It’s hard but worth it. I also have no family of my own and his family are lovely but still his.

Stucknoue that sounds like torture xxxx

I have only just joined this site a few minutes ago , I feel for you , I am in a similar situation but I feel worse . After 16 years together 13 married she turned round to me two weeks ago and has said she wants a divorce . I gave up work on her say so a few years ago as she was headhunted and we moved a few times ending up buying a house where we now live .
Despite putting my small pensions totalling nearly £40,000 towards a hearty deposit my name is not on the mortgage , throw into the melting pot that we have had an offer on our house and we have progressed and bought another house which she obviously does not want me to move into .
At this moment in time I’m almost pennyless , jobless , and have two large dogs that are dependent on me .
To be honest I’m very stressed I’m crap on my own and feel very alone .

@paulafc1 So sorry to read what you're going through. I've been feeling better over the past week or so. I have a new house lined up to move into and have been lucky to have lovely friends and family around me. As lots have said, I think there is truth in it getting better over time. I still find it really hard to think of what has been lost. It's painful to think that we'll never be out together as a family enjoying our time. But I try and focus on building a new life for myself and my kids.

@HugsandPoptarts Sharing with people and taking up offers is definitely great advice. I've done so much more with my friends over the past few weeks. I've even had distant family friends get in touch and tell me that I'm welcome to stay with them anytime. It's surprising the number of people that have been in the same situation.

Hi,i’m 5 months on from finding out my wife was having an affair and like you i was in the depths of depression thinking this is it for i’ll be alone for the rest of my life(i’m 54)...after a couple if months i thought sod this and joined a dating site and now i found a lady who is far and away better than my stbx and i am very happy atm......i know how hatd it is atm for you but try to keep your chin up👍

Thanks for that I’m glad you have found happiness

jeshow it sounds like you’re getting yourself sorted.

I’m incredibly lonely, no family nearby, and married friends have drifted away. I just want my divorce over with so I can move on and move away from here.

@Itsnotme123 I have good days and bad days. Whenever I see my wife part of me wants to be with her, hold her in my arms, get back together. It's really hard. I tell myself that it wouldn't be right, and that that isn't what she wants anyway. I just miss what we had. I miss being as a family together and doing things together. I miss seeing the kids every day and just sitting on the sofa with my wife watching tv. But all that has gone now and it can't ever come back. I don't think it can anyway. But it is really hard to let go of the feelings which you have had for years.

But then I have better times with good friends and family and I feel happy and can see a future for myself. I've grown very close to a really good female friend over the past few weeks. It's nothing more than friendship, and I'd be happy for it to always stay that way if nothing develops. But it's helped me to see that there will be a future for me beyond all of this. Hope that makes some sense!

It's amazing reading these stories how similar they are to my situation.

Back story, married 13 years, together 17. 2 kids age 15 and 5. Thought I had a perfect marriage with loving wife and no worries financially or otherwise.

However from Christmas things changed. Wife started distancing from me, going out more often, password changes, phone never leaving side etc. Didn't want to believe she could do it but my gut was telling me otherwise. Finally came out last week she had been seeing/sexting/kissing guy 10 years younger at work and she wants to end marriage with no desire for reconciliation. She still denies any sexual activity but she has lied for months so don't really believe it.

To be honest I'd already gone through some of the stages; crying, losing 2 stone, not sleeping earlier this year so when it's finally come out I'm at the anger stage. It disgusts me to think of her with someone else and I could never take her back.

I do feel alone, as with other posters, but I'll be damned if I am going to let her ruin my life. I have 2 beautiful kids and am in my mid 30s so have much to look forward to, even if at times it feels my world has ended.

I still can't believe the woman I trusted 100% could do such a horrible thing but I will live.

It's horrible but I'm glad there are people out there who understand what it's like.

A lesson learnt though.... always trust your gut!

Paulafc1 - you need to seek legal advice if you haven’t already done so.
Best wishes to you all.

At least from reading here I realise that there's men in my situation too, I'm now daydreaming about meeting someone with younger kids as I miss have little ones !

I thought I'd just provide a bit of an update.

I've generally been feeling a lot better about things over the past few weeks. I move into a new home this weekend (having lived with my mum since I separated from my wife) and am excited to get my own space.

It's still hard at times. I miss seeing my kids every day. My eldest asked if divorced people sometimes remarry and get back together the other day, saying that she hopes that happens with 'mummy and daddy'. Broke my heart. I'm not sure my wife realises how much the kids are affected by it all. From what she tells me, the kids apparently don't ask her questions like that. Yet they seem to ask me questions about it all each time I see them, especially my eldest.

So it is getting easier. I just wanted people to know that the pain eases and you do begin to see that you're life can be wonderful in a different way - you can see a different future for yourself than the one which you had planned with your spouse.