How much did it all cost

[Loopyloumama23]

My divorce has been done. However, we need to go to court for childcare and finance. He won’t attend mediation unless I pay. He earns at least 3x my wage. He is refusing to complete a financial disclosure.

I just wondered how much people’s solicitors fees were for these parts. As I have paid £2k just to get to this point and worried about costs. Having to ask parents for help.

Just wondered if anyone had any ideas.

Regards, loopy

The wY through mediation is to absolutely ignore any comments like that. He will do his best to bait you with such comments and the trick is to not rise to them. The reason not to listen is comments like this are irrelevant and have no bearing in what you are trying to achieve. If you do rise to it you will get nowhere. What you do is be guided by the mediator and stick to pure fact. Focus on getting and sharing all financial info, then on how best to split it.

As far as your ds is concerned, the ideal is that you coparent but the reality can be quite different. It is not really up to you to decide what he does when with his dad. It is a shame I know 😟

How much would a divorce cost if it was an amicable split? Mortgage free so we’d sell the house and split 50:50. Kids shared between us. I wouldn’t touch his pension and he wouldn’t mine.
Am I really looking at £10k +?

@TimeforTea72 no nothing like 10k+

You could apply to court yourself for the divorce...depends where you live, but costs £550 in England and Wales.
www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/how-much-does-divorce-or-dissolution-cost
You have to fill the criteria... might have to wait 2 yrs etc.

You could also look for a solicitor who will do it for a fixed fee. I would get a consent order in writing, including caring for the DC etc so it is done properly though. A lot of divorces that start of amicable end up less so.

Thanks @over50andfab
I’m thinking about it and was horrified by what people were quoting!! Very useful, thanks

My solicitor charges £1090 fixed fee for the divorce and advised if consent order is all agreed and she just drafts it and puts it to court with no negotiation then approx £600+ vat for that side. Hope this helps

my ex is a d....head, he has kept things going and refusing to answer messages ect so that's why the costs have got huge, he has to pay a % of it as the court awarded me some costs but it's not much to be honest.
Looking forward to mediaiton next friday as I am hoping she wipes the floor with him, although it could come out worse in it i suppose we will have to wait and see.

Do you have to actually go to court if you agree everything (no kids under 18). Surely you can just dissolve the "contract". I've done other legal paperwork myself, it can't be much different. I've check with the pension provided and they do need a witnessed letter but I can write it (local solicitor changes £10 to witness), obviously need to sort out land registry but I know how to do that too

If you want a binding consent order then yes you need to go to court to ratify it(you don't need to attend per se, just it needs to be signed by the courts), otherwise you are both open to claims against each others assets in future no matter what you've agreed between you

@stucknoue, I’m not a professional so can only make suggestions following my own experience and that of friends. Also the divorce process can vary depending on where you live.

You seem to be pretty far on with thinks and knowledgeable on what to do - £10 is cheap for a so, letter 😀. There are some great websites for guidance, say CAB. The gov one is good www.gov.uk/divorce/file-for-divorce
Which basically says you can apply for the divorce online. Just make sure you get the detail right. My first application was posted back to me (they kept hold of the cheque though!!) as I made a couple of mistakes on it - so I (ad to correct them and re-submit.

@CH43, mediators don’t do wiping the floor as their job is to remain impartial. This meeting is to try to come to some sort of agreement, and will probably take several sessions. It is not to apportion blame and irrelevant on who has done what up to now. Try to see is as a fresh perspective, even if he continues to be a twat. If he makes unreasonable suggestions, the mediator should help steer things to keep things on the right track. At my last (5th?) session before I decided we were getting nowhere I left it to the mediator to do most of the talking with my ex. It was like coming up against a brick wall.

If you both end up just arguing and getting nowhere mediation will not work and will just inflate costs further. If he says anything goady, I strongly suggest to ignore it or just say nothing. (One of the best ways to annoy controlling exes!). Good luck with it

Thanks,

I'm still not looking forward to it but have to agree she knows her stuff, I just want to have my own place with my boy so that we can start living again and not walking on egg shells every five minutes.