My marriage hasn't been good for a while, my stbxh drinks daily, theres been gas lighting, verbal abuse and he's been violent a few times over the 25 years we've been together. We went to counselling and that helped a little. I thought we could work on it. Oh and hes bi, which I found out after 10 years together, did a lot of talking & opened the marriage on his side. He's been acting hinky for a while, and I had my suspicions that something was up, but was more worried about him than anything. His mum had been very ill, so I thought it could be that, but for the first time he wouldn't talk to me. So he's asked for a Divorce, and stupid as it seems I'm devastated. I'm also in a quandry. I'm being very calm with him, I will not cry in front of him, which made him incredibly angry. But he's all 'I need to find myself, I still love and respect you' and not mentioning this quite long affair or the fact he's leaving me for her. So he left his Facebook logged on and open and then asked me to instal a printer on the family laptop, I guess he was hoping I'd find out. What do i do? I'm the only one with any savings, but a low income. Meanwhile he's self employed, running two households (according to facebook) and because he pockets the cash jobs his last tax return is a joke. Yes he's still 'living here during the week and staying with his 'brother' at the weekends, waiting to move out. I really like this woman too, she's a sweetheart, he's going to destroy her.
Sorry for the rant, any advice anyone? I was going to wait until he moved out then have my solicitor invite him for a collaborative Divorce, but I'm so tempted to just file and name her for the look on his face (and the protection that this might give my meagre savings, he paid for a full plastic surgery makeover for her earlier this year but I can't prove it)