Divorce

[ian1973]

Can anyone give any advice please
Started a relationship in 2010 with a woman who moved into my property a few months into it with her 10 year old daughter
I had owned the property for 6 years previous to this
My partner was living with her parents at the time and had zero assets and brought nothing financially to the table
We married in 2012 and split a few years later
We reconciled a few times but finally called it a day last year for good
I can divorce on the grounds of adultery as i found out a few things since the split
She is currently with the person she cheated with and i have a new partner also.
The problem is she has put a legal charge on the house i owned prior to our relationship and the mortgage is solely in my name
I am currently living there with my new partner.
I have offered a divorce on any grounds she wishes,i was not innocent at some stage too so have offered adultery either way,tbh i dont care i just want this person out of my life for good
Financially i am far worse off than when we met
The property is in a worse state and has devalued too due to the housing market being stagnated in my area.
I am also stuck with about £3k of debt from a catalogue account that she ran up in my name without my knowledge
My solicitor has twice sent a divorce intention notices out and asked for a clean break financial agreement to be signed as the marriage produced no assets at all (only debt)

She has refused to sign
I can of course divorce for adultery but that does not get the charge removed from my house
My wife constantly says she will start proceedings but never does
Obviously she is after something financially but has done absolutely nothing to see a solicitor to request what £££s she does actually want
On the local grapevine i have heard she is getting married again but obviously cannot until she divorces me
I do not have an endless amount of money to fight her
I want to get things done on the house (windows damp new doors etc) but i am loathed to put money into an house that someone claims to own half of!!

What should my next step be???

Well the next step is to take the first step . See a solicitor make a financial offer and make a mediation appointment. Then work from that

Oh and file for divorce

So it sounds like 2010 to 2018 relationship/marriage with one "child of the family" even though you were not her father. If you are in England not Scotland then in my view this not likely to be counted as a "short marriage" and the courts will instead start with 50/50 between you and your wife, I don't know what pensions, savings and house equity there is on both sides however nor what each of you earn.
The only wayt to force her to a financial settlement or let a judge decide it is if you get a divorce petition served on her - perhaps use unreasonable behaviour not adultery as that tends to go down better and get on with a few court hearings and/or mediation if she will not reach agreement with you. My husband got 60% not 50% as I earn more so things like who earns what will be relevant.

She can divorce you but not settle the finances and still remarry but it woud be better for you if you can both reach agreement on a financial settlement.

Xenia i am grateful for what you say

My solicitor says it was a short marriage as it started to break down in 2015 so basically 3 years from 2012
She says 50/50 would not be accepted by a court as they take into account i had the house previously and the marriage has produced no assets as such
She also says a judge would look at who had what prior to the marriage and what my wife brought to the marriage (nothing)
I have no problem paying the £2k divorce and clean break costs plus i have the £3k debt to pay she ran up in my name without my knowledge
I have proof she did this so surely a judge must take this into account too??

The house has about £20-25k equity in it now but there was that much equity if not more prior to her moving in.
I am self employed but at the moment my wife is earning more than me

I would go by what your solicitor says in that case as she has the full facts. The period living together before you marry is I thought counted. If you are in Scotland not England that might be the reason why the adivce from your solicitor and my views are different but I am certainly not an expert so I would go with your solicitor's advice. This case seems to support your view point on tihs www.telegraph.co.uk/family/relationships/case-could-change-everything-couples-divorcing-short-marriage/ I was trying to find another case which may be was before that one where the marriage was less than a year but they lived together for longer - 5 years? and the lady had had a miscarriage in the marriage and left work to do up her husband's house and got quite a bit despite the actual marriage being a short period.

So there is no substantial money in your case I suspect - £20k could easily be used on legal fees., Both sides should compromise this very early on - trouble is you cannot force her to settle so your only other option is going to court - perhaps doing it yourself to save legal fees. If you helped keep her daughter that could amount to a "child of the family" - I know someone who paid his step son's £30k a year x 2 school fees at a boarding school and was ordered to continue that after the divorce.

May be suggest to her you want spousal maintenance as she earns more and that in return for giving that up and you paying the court fees etc on the divorce you will give her 25% of the equity based on the average house value given by 3 estate agents each of you appoint - so no one fiddles the valuation figures. My gusband got more than 50% as I earned more because I wanted a "clean break" with no maintenance to be paid to him.