How does a trial separation work

[ohdearnotagain]

Just that really...... do you spend time with each other trying to get things back on track whilst not living together or is it totally no contact.

I'm assuming you sort out all financial stuff but again how far do you go, maybe sort out separate bank accounts etc but what about assets, property etc.

Do you give/decide a timescale by which you make a definite decision on whether you can make the relationship/marriage work and live together as a couple again or is it as long as it takes type of thing.

Maybe doing the trial separation then Simonfromharlow is for the best because if you are both thinking it's over anyway you have nothing to lose in trying and it might turn into the best thing you ever did for your marriage

trial separation usually means he is out busy shagging and she sits home crying wishing things had worked out. if there is violence i personally would not want a trial anything but a permanent separation

@ohdearnotagain maybe but I don't think so! Everyone keeps saying that but I feel like he has made his mind up.

He has been redundant and says that has made him
Realise he's not happy and life is too short. He wants to wait until he's got a job until he moves out but I just want him to go now. I feel like I'm ok again and then he comes in and I feel like crying again.

I went for a walk round out local town centre today and couldn't stop crying. Every step we took has a memory. It's so so hard. I juts want to go back to feeling normal.

Sounds like at the minute he wants his cake and eat it, not fair on you to keep you like this until he finds a job. If being with you is definitely not what he wants then tell him he needs to leave and allow you to grieve for your marriage then pick yourself back up again.

I've literally just done this.

I just said to him. It's not going to work you being here. Tell me the truth. You don't want to come back, you want to move out for good. He said yes i think that is what I want. So he is going to move in with his parents.

It feels sad and hard but also good at the same time. I can start the process.

Simonfromharlow how's things? Has your H moved out yet?

No he's not yet but think he will in the next week or so. Since I told him I wanted him to move out the atmosphere has been a lot better so that's something.

I'm feeling a lot more positive today

I wouldn’t have him back if he’s assaulted you. I’d be filing for divorce.

Really hope you find a solution for your situation