He's invoiced me for bills he paid after he moved out

[accessorizequeen]

Hello. My DP & I split in Dec 17, he moved out in April 18 and paid the household bills for a few months because I was earning so little. I moved them over to my name in Sept/Oct once I was earning more and receiving tax credits by that point. He's now sent me a spreadsheet with a demand for £3,000 which includes those bills. He's refusing to pay maintenance until my 'debt' is paid. He's also charged me money for not finding a rental property for myself and our four children quickly enough.

The bills I believe were in his name until I asked to take over the payments and moved them to my name only. I don't have the paper bills so I'm not sure. They include House Insurance, Council Tax (for a house we both own), TV license, Water, Gas & Elec.

I need to seek legal advice, but I've moved house a week ago and have my children nearly all the time over Easter so it's a bit difficult at present. Any advice/support in the meantime would be helpful. thanks.

OP you have played in a lot of information about the situation which is relevant but not very ordered.

Starting with the fact that you are not married, the settlement will be different from what could be agreed in any divorce. Meaning that legal costs would be higher if you went to court and the outcome less certain.

As you are not married if you jointly bought the house then you are both legally entitled to half unless you specified something else when you bought it together. This is something you need to accept as a likely outcome of mediation and legal action. If he was or may be willing to offer more then that is a bonus. Now he isn’t I think it would be hard for you to get more unless there is a legal agreement.

In relation to the financial arrangements after he left in April, what did you both agree. He was obliged to pay CMS or whatever you agreed to accept. You can now make a claim for CMS which he will be legally obliged to pay to his children. He cannot offset it against claims against you. CMS will be payable from the date of claim.

The issue you have certain son the running costs of the house from April and what you both agreed or didn’t agree at the time. You both owned the house and you both had joint obligations to pay the mortgage, insurance and bills. But if he wasn’t living there then he will argue that you had an unfair benefit from the home. It is relevant to consider what happened at the time of the split, did you tell him to move out. Where did he live and did you ask him to pay the bills because you couldn’t afford them. Where did he see the kids etc. Did the property grow in value etc.

At the time you should have agreed this between you. Now he is trying to do that in retrospect. It’s not worth legal fees and it is unlikely he could enforce the claim.

So I think you will end having to settle for 50% and he will end up having to let go of £3k. The CMS will be payable from the date of claim and there is nothing either of you can do about that.

OP you need proper legal advice, including on a claim against his share of equity under Schedule 1 Children Act.

Also go to CMS immediately for an assessment.

Did he put anything in writing about the 70/30 split...
If not I think you may find the house is viewed as a joint owned, it could be why he wants half
You need to go to the meeting, but can ask to be in a different room . Right now, stand up to him and tell him at the amount he is offering your going to lose nothing by going to court.

Also he won't be like you doing CS but it does mean they collect it and he can't not pay, and use that as blackmail against you each month...
The bills, I think he has to pay them, as in his name, he can't charge you rent in a house you own....

Thank you for taking the time to reply.
Firstly I have raised a case with the Child Maintenance Service so that's one stick he can't beat me with!

We owned the house jointly however I paid the deposit and yes the 70/30 split plus £10k he put in writing more than once. It was only when I would not agree to his new financial proposal that he started saying 50/50. His new financial proposal included the £3k debt he's come up with. I'm also investigating £12k that was added to our mortgage - it seems that the vast majority of it went into his personal account and I don't see why that should be?

I guess I will consult a lawyer, and go to the first mediation assessment session on my own and see if they think his behaviour means that mediation is workable. Or get the lawyer to write letter suggesting another way of splitting the equity.

I'm having counselling to come to terms with his behaviour and realising that he was coercive throughout our 19 year relationship. More than a year on he is still getting to me.

Silly man,he put it in writing..

Say you bought house for 500k...
You put in 50k.. so 10%....
House sold for. 100k profit...
You get 50k. Then you split the remaining profit so you get 25k......
So really you get 75/25 split. But he can think of it as 50/50 profit ...
So just keep asking for your deposit before you split the profit ..

Just looked at deed of trust... To do with houses....
Your share of 10% if house value... Means you get. 60k back .. the half of 40k left...
80/20... Split .
Go for that one....judge could agree it. As a normal thing to do...

Thank you @mummmy2017. Even in his latest email with spreadsheet he's offered 70/30.

Who advised you to agree to sell the house before all the financial aspects were sorted? There is such a thing as a Mesher Order which could have enabled you to stay in the house until the children were 18 years, was this never mentioned or considered?

OP please don't rely on advice from internet randoms. This is a very complex area of law. Please see a family solicitor.

@MrsBertBibby I will be seeking the advice of a lawyer don't worry.

@crimsonlake Yes I know about Mesher orders and looked into it but it didn't work with my situation. Partly because of my age once the kids are 18.

@LemonTT

You wrote to the OP: As you are not married if you jointly bought the house then you are both legally entitled to half unless you specified something else when you bought it together.

Is this true? I thought that if children are involved, married or not, the main carer would likely be entitled to a greater share (if it went to court). I think for reasons of continuing a lifestyle for the children that they are accustomed to, or something like that. I have little knowledge in this area but I am a separated dad, never married, and have my two children 2-3 nights a week. They still live in the family home jointly owned and have done for 3 years now. I've always assumed I'd automatically get the lesser share. I should add that I'm ok with the smaller share as I want my kids to have a good roof over their head, and I would never force them out of their current home as this is the life they are used to. One day in the future things will change I'm sure.