I don’t feel mine is arguing my case. My ex has a very aggressive style of solicitor and mine just seems to want me to go along with it.
Divorce has been going on for years and we’re stuck on finances. It’s been going on for so long due to ex being reticent to provide form E. It’s still missing info and has inaccuracies. He says he is in “insecure rented accomodation”. He’s living with his long term partner in the house that she owns. He hasn’t included her financial details (says he doesn’t know- he does, he was her boss). He is a high earner, and I think he’s been using the delay to hide stuff/take out loans/run up credit card debt to make it look like he has nothing. He was abusive in multiple ways. I have underlying MH issues and it is the view of professionals who have met him, that he has been trying to make me extremely unwell or worse over the past few years. Basically he doesn’t want me to exist. I’m inconvenient. He only cares about the kids when they do what he wants.
I have proposed a 70/30 split, with me having the equity in the house, and less of his pension. There isn’t enough to house one, let alone both of us. He wants more, with a Mescher order, to sell the house when youngest is 18 and a % of the equity at that time. I don’t want a Mescher order. We have 3 children (oldest 12) and the middle one has a lifelong medical condition that requires a lot of support, provided by me. All children are likely to go to university, so will need a home to return to, (if the middle one goes away at all). I read in court guidance that Mescher orders are not recommended where the party that wants it could get the money by other means during that time. My ex definitely could- his last annual bonus was £9,000 in itself, and as I’ve said he earns waaay more than I ever could, mainly because I had to sacrifice my career to look after the children. I wanted to have my own career too, but he never pulled his weight with childcare so it suffered...mainly because of the long term affair/current partner so it turns out. My main problem with the Mescher is not just the financial side by the whole fact I’d have to move again. Moving has triggered breakdowns in the past. The house is tiny and would not be worth a lot, but I can afford the payments myself even if I was only working part time. My ex’s partners house is worth far more. I would be unlikely to be able to buy my ex out when my eldest got to 18. I know that regardless of mine or my children’s situation at the time, my ex would force a sale of the house. He is incapable of empathy.
I’ve explained all this to my solicitor. She’s still suggesting a Mescher, albeit lower! Is she being unreasonable or am I? It will cost money to change solicitor so I’m reluctant to do so. At the moment it feels like there is no point in me having a solicitor at all!