I left my abusive husband 18 months ago. I started divorce proceedings last Jan. My ex is currently still in the family home and has been dragging his feet with absolutely everything, making our lives absolutely miserable. I agreed a fixed price for divorce with my solicitor and then he quoted between two and five thousand to resolve the finances. My ex's solicitor requested that we make financial declarations in march 18, I got everything together and gave it to my solicitor in july18.......but my ex wouldn't then provide his paperwork. It's now a year later and 900 pounds worth of a solicitor advising me that there is nothing I can do other than get a miam. So I went for a miam and have just had my first shuttle mediation. I am a further 360 pounds out of pocket for basically one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. Before I went I was told I would need to make a proposal and I told the mediator I didn't think I would be able to do it, he said 'its nothing! We can help you!', but of course they wouldn't help me. They wanted to know why I had bothered coming and why my solicitor hadn't given me any advice (a good question for the 900 quid they are asking for!). My ex brought his financial declaration to the mediation session but still hasn't sent it to my solicitor, despite telling the mediation centre he did it three weeks ago. I asked the mediator if I could have a copy of his financial declaration because that's all I really need and he said - no, my solicitor would still have to get it sent to them.
Basically, my point is that I really want my solicitor to deal with all this as I am at breaking point. He says he can't do anything without the financial declaration, I can't force my ex to do his declaration unless a court makes him, I can't go to court without a miam and when I tried to get a miam, the mediation service lead me to believe that they would support me to sort out the finances-which they won't! To cap it all off they even advised me that if we came to an agreement, my ex still doesn't have to stick to it-so what is the point?
Has anyone got any good ideas because I am clearly not good at this.
To summarise-
I have paid 900 quid to a solicitor to give me no advice whatsoever
I have paid 360 quid to a mediation service that will basically only walk between two rooms and tell each person what the other said and then berate me for not knowing what to do!
I feel totally violated after today and I am exhausted with it all. How do you sort your finances out for divorce????