Friends with ex - how does it work?

[Goldilocks3Bears]

I have a particularly toxic relationship with my ex. We have a united front for our daughter but that’s it. My partner by contrast gets on with his almost better than they did when they were apart. Example: she offered he could stay at hers when his house was being replumbed for two weeks.

Part of me is pleased and proud that they can exist in peace - the jealous part of me goes bonkers and thinks I’m like “the other woman” sometimes (ps I’m not, they’d split way before) and that the whole friendship thing is just a way of not letting go.

Are you BFF with your ex? How does it work with new partners? Am I insane?

GB

If there are children involved it is a real positive if the parents can be friends.

My mother was never difficult towards my father and as a child I had no sense of animosity. Although as I got older it was clear it was a difficult existence. And they have nothing to do with each other once we were teens.

My ex has behaved badly toward the children and I. We communicate via messages and of course are polite to each other at pick up/ drop off. I feel guilty that I'm not more friendly. But he took advantage last time I let my guard down. I hope in time the hurt lessens. I would hate for the children to feel awkward further down the line. And know I need to play a bigger part moving forward.

I’m very good friends with my ex, we were friends for over 10 years before we got together & there was no animosity over our split.

We have returned to our pre-relationship friendship which is easy, relaxed & based on a shared sense of humour.

I know his long term girlfriend feels v. Insecure about us - I have never given her any reason to be, although he has by cheating on her & she found out!

She now will ensure we are not alone together ever which is a real shame as I think we need to nurture our friendship for the sake of our child.