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Where do you begin?

8 replies

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 27/03/2019 07:48

Things have been bad with DH and I for about a year, cane to a head last summer and since then it's been eggshells really and him just becoming totally cold and shutting me out. I posted before about how things were and got some good advice.

I told him two weeks ago I can't live like this any longer, since then we have barely seen each other, if I'm out he's in and vice Versa

He hates our house, and I doubt he can afford to run it alone (I'm the higher earner and can do) but I also don't know he can afford anywhere else. I feel bad asking him to leave if he has no where to go. I have no where I can go.

We have no children but my 2 DSC come every weekend and I feel bad if I ask him to leave as this is their home too.

Where so I start here? I'm not sure what to do for the best

OP posts:
HennyPennyHorror · 27/03/2019 08:01

Do you own the house? If so, surely you will need to sell it so he can have his portion?

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 27/03/2019 08:04

Yes we own it. No idea how that works though, I'm clueless on where to go to begin tbh

OP posts:
AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 27/03/2019 08:04

As in we have a mortgage, not owned outright

OP posts:
PurpleWithRed · 27/03/2019 08:08

He doesn’t want to be married to you either, so this is his choice too. He may not be able to afford a house like yours on his own but he will be able to afford something even if it’s much smaller or in a worse area.

How long have you been married? If not long and no children who put what into the house? Can you buy him out?

PurpleWithRed · 27/03/2019 08:10

How much is the house worth and what’s the mortgage? Any savings, pensions, debts? Theoretically the assets of the marriage should be split 50:50 but in a short no-kids marriage that could be changed to reflect what each of you put in.

AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 27/03/2019 08:15

Married 7 years, we had a tiny deposit and we went in 50:50 on everything when we bought.

I own my car but it's hardly worth anything really. One joint loan for £5k, I have a credit card, I have no idea what debts he may have as we have separate accounts and you can ask him any questions about money.

House is probably worth £210k. We bought for £146k 6 years ago

OP posts:
AccidentallyRunToWindsor · 27/03/2019 08:16

I have no savings to speak off (£500 or so) again no idea what he may have.

Both have company pensions, I have company shares. He sold all of his a few months back, not sure where the money for that went.

OP posts:
Northumberlandlass · 27/03/2019 08:23

If you can afford to, I would offer to buy him out. A clean break.
Get 3 valuations on the house, average it and work out the equity and pay him half - legally remove him from deeds and see your mortgage people about having a sole mortgage.
I did this & it gave exH the ability to put down a hefty deposit on a new place which he could afford.
Before I did any of this....I spoke to a solicitor, which i would recommend as exH and I drew up a contract stating he would not make a claim of my pension etc

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