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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

STBEXH going through personal belongings when I'm out

11 replies

PineappleMum · 25/03/2019 12:48

Looking for a bit of advice really… currently going through an acrimonious divorce. STBEXH has moved out of the family home and I am paying all bills / mortgage etc. However, we haven’t reached a financial agreement yet and his name is still on the deeds. He also needs access to the home as he collects children from school, takes them inside briefly for them to get changed before he takes them to afterschool activities (basically they get changed and grab a snack).

So here is the issue… I know that he has been going through my personal belongings in my bedroom, and he moves things in my room as well e.g. the other day he had placed something in one of my drawers. He also took something out of a bag I have in my room and put it on the kitchen worktop.

At the weekend I set up a hidden camera in my bedroom and lo and behold, this morning about 20 mins after I left home he was in my room, digging in my drawers and moving things about.
I’m going to get a lock for my door, but is there anything else I can do about this? I haven’t told him I know what he’s up to.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 25/03/2019 13:14

What's he looking for though? Is he just trying to mess with your head?

Get a lock or some novelty eyeballs.

PineappleMum · 25/03/2019 13:37

Think he's just trying to mess with my head...

OP posts:
gamerchick · 25/03/2019 14:34

You can get doorknobs with internal lock on them. I have them on my bedroom door. They're really handy.

jinglewithbellson · 25/03/2019 14:39

Put a lock on your bedroom door and anything you don't want him to have access in there and a sign for the door saying cctv in operation here.

What a knob.

Where's he living?next time you drop the dc to him I'd be inclined to stroll in and sit down and noticeably look around. Move a few things around while he stands there shocked you would do such a thing Wink

AdoraBell · 25/03/2019 14:40

Definitely trying to mess with your head, get the lockable handles suggested by gamerchick and don’t mention it. Could you change the routine with DC? Pack clothes and snacks, they take that to school and get changed at his place?

ItsInTheSpoon · 25/03/2019 14:44

Yes, locks for doors, what a horrible man

Birdie6 · 25/03/2019 14:45

I'd change the locks on the house, and tell him that in future you'll pack the kids change of clothes in their school bags, so they don't have to go home to your place. What a knob - still trying to control you.

PineappleMum · 25/03/2019 16:38

It wouldn't piss me off so much if he wasn't going around telling everyone how irrational and crazy I am...

OP posts:
StormTreader · 25/03/2019 16:40

"It wouldn't piss me off so much if he wasn't going around telling everyone how irrational and crazy I am..."

"Oh, am I? Let me show you a video from last week and see if you still think that...."

frazzledasarock · 25/03/2019 16:42

Can oh speak to your solicitor to see if there’s anything you can do to keep him out till the legalities are done?

Or change locks as you’ve ‘lost’your keys and ensure you pack the kids change of clothes with their school bags so they have no need to go to yours.

If he queries it tell him you had to as you’d lost your keys if he asks say yeah you’ll get him a set cut then keep forgetting till the house is in your name and he has no reason to have a set of keys any longer.

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 25/03/2019 16:43

I agree a different plan is needed.

He shouldn't be going into the house.

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