Pregnant and separated

[babypeanut0619]

Hey

So I am 30 weeks pregnant and me and my partner separated at Christmas as he decided he no longer wanted the baby. We found out when I was 5 weeks pregnant and termination was not even an option and since then we had been excited, spoke baby names, got the nursery decorated etc.. When he changed his mind at Christmas he demanded I terminate the baby (at 17 weeks i refused) and since then has said he will not have any involvement at all and made it clear I was to do it on my own. I moved out and we haven't spoke since.

My questions really is, if he changes his mind a year or 2 down the line, where do I stand with this? He told me don't want to be on the birth certificate etc. Obviously for the babies sake it would be nice for him to have his father in his life but is it unfair of me to stop this from happening if he just picks and chooses a year or so into the babies life that he would like to be involved?

Any one been in similar situation, advice please!

Oh gosh, I am sorry. This is a mess and he is a prick. What caused him to just all of a sudden break things off like this?

Does he know a baby is not a shirt he can just return because while it sounded good at first, is no longer suitable? What is up with that? He can't just demand you go this alone, whether or not he likes it, it is his child. He is the "father".

Again, what a prick.

I have not been a position such as this so I can't comment but didn't want to leave you hanging without a reply. I am sure words of wisdom will come shortly.

Hang in there.

Do you have friends and family nearby to help you?

What is it you would like out of all of this?

How awful for you. How long were you together and how long planning the baby ? What are your work situations ? You need to think about YOU here and ydont put him on the bc.

If he does decide to change his mind, then he needs to show his commitment by applying through the courts.

Will maintenance be forthcoming ? If not then complete cms application as soon as possible after birth.

When baby is born, you will have to register the birth. If your ex is not with you, and you aren’t married, then he won’t be put on the birth certificate.
You can still claim child maintenance.
If he changes his mind and wants to be involved at any stage, he can apply to the court to be added to the bc. At that point, he could apply for access and the court would grant it, assuming no protection issues ( dv, drugs etc).
He would need to build up a relationship gradually before being allowed to share care.
The difficult bit can come from a bio dad who shows up once in a blue moon, allowing the child no continuity.
Don’t chase him. If he cares so little that he can’t be bothered to behave responsibly, then him not being around at all is better. At least you both know where you stand and have no false expectations.
Congratulations, I hope it all goes well.

May be ask him if you do a DNA test immediately after birth he would then agree after that result to go on the certificate.

If he's not interested why chase him? He doesn't deserve to be involved. I wish I hadn't put my partner on the birth certificate cos he's a lazy arsehole who doesn't deserve children. And now he has parental responsibility.