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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Stbxh stopped paying morgage months ago without me knowing threat of bailiffs and house repossession

27 replies

Mum35x · 17/03/2019 21:27

Hi everyone
My stbxh was paying the morgage while we sorted our divorce out (decree nisi was granted a few weeks ago) I messaged him asking for a settlement and received a letter from his solicitor saying that he stopped paying the morgage last july (without my knowledge) and that the morgage company will prob be in the process of repossession of our home and it was noted that "The bailiffs will come and evict you and your DD" my daughter is 14. I was married to him for 13 years. The break up was down to him and he hasnt seen our dd for well over a year.The house is in his name altho I have done the land registry.
It states in the letter that If I agree to put the house on the market within 14days my ex will call the morgage people and ask them to back off until while the house is on the market.
I was told by a solicitor last year that we have every right to stay untill dd was 18 but I didnt see this coming!!! I'm scared to death now.
Is there anyone that could offer me some advice please?
Thank you in advance x

OP posts:
Bigonesmallone3 · 17/03/2019 21:40

You have been living in a house that he is paying the mortgage for for nearly a year that he's not in anymore?
So he is paying a mortgage and a rent for wherever he is now?
Have u ever offered to pay him a rent?

Could u not afford to get your own place?

HollowTalk · 17/03/2019 21:42

You need to speak to your solicitor tomorrow. I'm so sorry this has happened.

TowandaForever · 17/03/2019 21:48

Can't believe he didn't have the curtesy to let you know or your solicitor that he had stopped paying the mortgage!

wakeupsmelltheroses · 17/03/2019 21:50

That is 8 months that no mortgage has been paid if I am correct . Did the mortgage provider send any letters - usually after 2 non payments ? Your STBX may have frozen payments for mitigating circumstances and the payments not paid will just be added to the mortgage. Seems such a long time for them not to do something about non payments.

millymollymoomoo · 17/03/2019 21:55

What exactly did you’re solicitor say to you? You’re not automatically entitled to stay in the house - if you can’t afford the mortgage it’s possible it would need to be sold

You’ll need to gather a view of all natural assets and go back to the soliciitor ASAP

itsbritneybiatches · 17/03/2019 22:04

First things first op. Are
You named on the mortgage?

Original poster
Mum35x · 18/03/2019 03:05

@itsbritneybiaches No I'm not named on it its in his name but I did add my name to the land registry

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Original poster
Mum35x · 18/03/2019 03:07

@wakeupsmelltheroses Any letters would have gone to him and not to me so as far as I knew (and he had it put in one of his solicitors letters last year that he wouldn't default on the morgage) I thought he was still paying it. If I had known then we could have come to an arrangement

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Original poster
Mum35x · 18/03/2019 03:10

That's correct ..he said he would pay the mortgage and wouldn't default last year ..then late last year he moved away. Had I of known I would have tried to come to an arrangement where I would pay or partially pay for it but he didn't tell me. He was living somewhere for free up until end of last year

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Original poster
Mum35x · 18/03/2019 03:11

@Hollowtalk thank you x

OP posts:
Original poster
Mum35x · 18/03/2019 03:13

@TowandaForever I know ..he did it with other things aswell I just never thought he would do this. He has a new life now and just wants us out but had he of told me I could have sorted something out and the fact he's not thinking of our daughter or seeing her makes me feel ill

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Original poster
Mum35x · 18/03/2019 03:15

@millymollymoomoo She said that we have a right to stay here until DD is 18 that he has to make sure our dd has a roof over her head etc

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Bigonesmallone3 · 18/03/2019 06:40

Best thing to do is put it on the market to buy yourself some time?
Can u afford your own home?

Original poster
Mum35x · 18/03/2019 09:25

@Bigonesmallone3 No I can't unfortunately I am on the waitlist with the council but it means my dd would have to go to a different school and shes doing her g.c.s.e choices and settled. He just doesn't seem to care. He could have told me in August

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Scoutsrus · 18/03/2019 09:27

Have you got a Mescher order?

WeeDangerousSpike · 18/03/2019 09:29

I'm not sure, but wouldn't it be a marital asset as you were married? I didn't think you had to have your name on the mortgage to have an interest in it if you are married?

Original poster
Mum35x · 18/03/2019 14:10

WeeDangerousspike thats what I was told. I did do the land registry so I'm on that. The problem is the fact he said he would pay for the mortgage but stopped without telling me. My solicitor said they dont deal with repossessions? Which I thought was a bit odd so I dont know where to turn now

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Original poster
Mum35x · 18/03/2019 14:11

Scoutsrus No I haven't ...my solicitor hasn't mentioned it

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Scoutsrus · 18/03/2019 14:36

Surely unless you have a Mesher order you know those has to be sold?

Maybe you should g and talk to your solicitor because I don’t think you’ve had things explained properly

millymollymoomoo · 18/03/2019 16:26

I agree you need to go back to your solicitor to get her to explain things to you

You staying in the house is one option but it depends on affordability. If your ex can not afford to keep up payments and provide housing for himself or you cannotxaffird the payments (and you’d need to be able to take over the mortgage and the lender agree to that) then it might not be possible

The priority here in the immediate term is to get the arrears cleared and payments up to date to stop a repossession - can he actually afford it or have his circumstances changed ?

Once that is sorted you really need to work on the financial settlement and get this agreed and ratified into a consent order

You need to make seeing your solicitor a priority

WeeDangerousSpike · 18/03/2019 17:40

So if it turns out the house does have to be sold you should get half the equity - would that be enough for a deposit for you to buy somewhere else?

LemonTT · 18/03/2019 18:56

You need to discuss your current options with your solicitor. As I understand it you have not yet negotiated financial arrangements with your ex. He appears to have played a shabby tactic in putting the house at risk in order to get you to agree to sell. Meaning he doesn’t want his equity tied up. So you know that and that he is going to resist a mesher order, that is what allows you to stay in the house till DD is 18. Crafty but it will play like shit to a judge. If it gets that far, he is banking on it not.
You may need to hold your nerve. First up, ask for copies of the letters from the lender and find it what they intend to do exactly.

slipperywhensparticus · 18/03/2019 19:03

Dont agree to sell the house move to private rental let them repossess it,? I mean he has fucked you over here and your daughter living rent free till December last year means he should have had no problem paying it to December last year sorry OP what a prize cunt

Original poster
Mum35x · 03/05/2019 23:58

LemonTT you may be right. I have found somewhere now to move too. I will need a fair few weeks to pack up tho and also the new place needs carpetting. I heard today that the lenders have started proceedings and that I should have received a letter (which i havent) stbx new about this over a month ago and despite me messaging to ask he ignored me. Im worried now about the bailiffs showing up

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Original poster
Mum35x · 04/05/2019 00:01

Slippery... I do feel like that in a way. I dont think I have an option now... i found out today possessing proceedings are under way and his solicitor said the lender should have contacted me which they havent because stbx has the mail where he is!

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