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Is the house always 50:50

24 replies

TreTops · 10/03/2019 09:53

Currently going through the start of the separation/divorce we have 2 children together. He was 100% I the wrong broke law and potentially looking at jail time.

If we go to court do I need to give him 50% of the equity? If he ends up with out a job could I owe him spousal maintenance or would that just be if I had supported him financially in the marriage (it was more 50:50.

I know i need to get legal advice but I'm not ready for that at the moment

OP posts:
SilverGiraffe7 · 10/03/2019 10:12

When you are ready, go for a free half hour consultation with a solicitor. No one can know what the split will look like until both parties have declared their finances, but I'd say very unlikely 50:50 if he's not going to be able to have shared care of the children.
Wishing you strength going forward. Thanks

MrsBertBibby · 10/03/2019 10:19

Well no, it isn't always 50 : 50 but it is impossible to advise on outcome without all the information.

So, legal advice when you are ready. And don't expect too much from a free 30 minute appointment!

NotBeingRobbed · 10/03/2019 14:08

No, not always 50:50. My ex wants 65% and is an absentee dad who takes no care of the children!

Singlenotsingle · 10/03/2019 14:11

What he wants and what he gets could be two different things, Notbeingrobbed

Brakebackcyclebot · 10/03/2019 14:14

No, the split is not always 50/50.

If you end up in court, the judge will take a view, given the circumstances, eg. who has primary care of children, cost of living, length of marriage, all the relevant facts.

Spousal maintenance is not always awarded, in many cases there is no spousal maintenance, only child maintenance.

You really do need legal advice on this and your specific circumstances. There is no hard and fast rule.

It is usually better to settle out of court if possible, through mediation, solicitors, negotiation. If you go before a judge, the outcome is more unpredictable.

Do you have to do anything right now? I would concentrate on getting yourself into a head space where you can focus and make decisions. You are already handling a lot.

TreTops · 10/03/2019 15:07

Thanks for the advice. Will try and get some legal advice soon

OP posts:
Notthatsimple · 10/03/2019 15:12

Oh course it’s not. My DP’s split ended up 100:0 on the family house Sad AND he pays spousal (I.e. on top of CM) maintenance.

PS divorces don’t consider “fault”. You need to put any thoughts of him being penalised through the divorce process out of your mind.

sanityisamyth · 10/03/2019 15:13

My ExH had to sign the house over to me (worth £125k. Outstanding mortgage was £81k) so he waived his right to any equity. He was a total arsehole through the divorce and I had a very good solicitor which cost me £20k. It all depends on the circumstances and how good your solicitor is.

MissedTheBoatAgain · 11/03/2019 01:19

PS divorces don’t consider “fault”. You need to put any thoughts of him being penalised through the divorce process out of your mind

Well said. All angry partners, including NBR, take note. Asset split is based on NEEDS as opposed to who paid for what and who caused the Divorce.

LemonTT · 11/03/2019 12:45

Sanity did you really spend £20K (each ?) fighting over £44K ? Wouldn't it have been better to agree a split of just about anything.

Unicornonmypants · 11/03/2019 21:22

I am months down the line on this now. Children are 3 and 5. Lots of equity in the house because I had it for 6 years before ex went on the mortgage. Ex declined mediation on the grounds of cost. Also declined around table discussion on the grounds of cost.
Because I have a good pension he is trying to use that as a reason why he gets 55% now. He has the children on day a week, overnight once a fortnight. Paid nothing to mortgage or child care last year while I was full time. I've reverted to my part time post (was maternity cover) and don't have these ability to go full time as the only after-school care in my area is someone I fired because ex insisted.
As things stand- yes I get a decent pay out in 16 years, but cannot afford to get a decent mortgage now to put a roof over my children's heads.
I'm frustrated and angry.
In addition- he has stated on multiple occasions that "it's alright for you- when your Mum dies you'll be sorted". He's also been overhead telling someone that my Mum's given me £60k, in front of the children.

TeacupDrama · 11/03/2019 21:31

50/50 Maybe a starting point and if no children maybe finish there but may take account of what was owned before marriage you are unlikely to get 50% of a pension after a 2 year marriage

however if children they will want to maintain adequate housing so if a house can be sold to buy two smaller adequate dwellings it will be sold however if that is not the case the resident parent may get to temporarily keep house until youngest is 18 or until mortgage paid off etc

TreTops · 12/03/2019 17:52

Thanks for all the replies.

I thought the divorce did take into account fault so it's probably good d to know from the outset that it doesn't.

We have a fairly large house but we couldn't sell and buy 2 smaller properties (as house is in bad location) so I'm hoping me and kids can stay here for the time being with the hope of remortgaging into my name within 2 or 3 years, but I would prefer not give him any equity until the kids are older

OP posts:
sanityisamyth · 12/03/2019 22:20

@LemonTT yes because the alternative was that ExH was going to make my DS and me homeless in 2021 with the way the original consent order was written. He withheld the fact he had inherited £180,000 and still wanted half of the house, knowing full well I couldn't afford to buy a different one. My solicitor was expensive but worth her weight in gold to enable to keep a roof above my head.

unexpectednewstart · 15/03/2019 16:17

Hi @TreTops

Does your ex feel any guilt for the situation? Similarly my marriage broke down because ex broke the law and he may go to prison. He feels very guilty and has almost agreed (fingers crossed) that I can take the equity I brought to the marriage as all the deposit was mine.

TreTops · 15/03/2019 18:26


No not really I'm hoping he will start to show some remorse at the moment he is only sorry he got caught

OP posts:
BlueEyedBengal · 15/03/2019 19:03

Can anyone give information on this Married 30 yrs he has a house in his name which has been rented out. I have a house, the family home that I inherited from my mother in my name. I am a s a h m to 6 kids and am the sole care giver. He is out 7 nights and all weekend drinking and doing god know what and just ignores my protests. Anyway I am making a plan to get out of this situation and get control but I have to be quite so he can't play up. His house is worth £80.000 and mine is worth £96.000. He has full control of all money coming in and I have been putting the odd £10,£20, from the shopping by and I will have enough to get started legally after the summer. Just what should I do when it comes to dealing with him when he receives the letter I know he will be angry like can he claim a slice of this house and force us to sell or will he still have a claim on this house also he never has the children always me can he play up there I am really confused about which thing I should do that protects me and the kids but know he has to go. Like when he gets the letter can I explain to the solicitor that I will need protection and can I change the locks? I hope someone that has a similar event happen can advice how it panned out for them. My husband by the way is an exserviceman with untreated ptsd

TeacupDrama · 16/03/2019 10:43

as between you, you have 2 houses 1 each I think that would be fairly easy you stay in yours he can live in his, (it is legitimate to give notice to tenants on the basis that you now need to live in the house which he will) you can't just change locks on a marital home, but you can once he has accommodation etc

please remember the basis of a split is 50/50 regardless of fault but provision and a home for the children comes first especially children still at home so I think you will get to stay in house but I'm not a lawyer, you are also entitled to a share of his pension as being a SAHM contributes to his earning potential the difference in value of the homes maybe can be sorted by a slightly less than equal split in pension etc

you may get some spousal maintenance for a few years as well as child maintenance
it is good you are sorting stuff out, if you can get copies or at least numbers of any bank accounts so they can't be emptied

BlueEyedBengal · 16/03/2019 11:20

Thank you for the good advice I will take note. Sorry op for hijacking your post I hope you are ok and wish you well.

SixDot941 · 18/03/2019 13:33

Fault means nothing. Lots of people think it does and so make their divorce way more bitter than it needed to be.

I got more than 50% because I could prove my financial investment in the property was greater than his, and in the marriage in general. So if you want more start looking for what capital investment you put into the marriage (not just wages, but money). You need proof too not just stories.

Otherwise it's likely to be 50/50 for equity and there will be no point in putting it in front of a judge at that point. You'll just be reducing your settlement with court costs.

Xenia · 18/03/2019 13:38

Divorce in England does not take account of fault in deciding money (except in very very rare cases)

In our divorce my husband got about 60% and wanted maintenance for life but as he worked full time as I did he did not get the maintenance. However I earned 10x what he did - hence he gtr more than 50% and does not have to see (his choice) or pay a penny to the children.
Laws differ in Scotland and England too so do make sure you get advice in the right jurisdiction.

mamamia999 · 28/03/2019 19:03

Sixdot941 I paid for our house out of profits of my own flat and also money on top to do up the property. Against all advice (and under bit of pressure from husband) bought the new property in equal joint names and was told that going forward I would forfeit 50% of the house as it would now be his. But based on what you’ve said this could be over-ridden then?? Would love if this could be true as kicking myself so hard over my stupidity now

Ss770640 · 07/09/2019 16:59

50/50 only applies to what was earned during marriage

That's it

Otter71 · 07/09/2019 22:57

That may vary depending on time married and location of residence but I entered marriage with a house with substantial equity to value. He had nothing. I put him on the mortgage and deeds "for love". On separation he kept the house and we were stuck with 50/50... I did eventually get slightly more but only because he wanted other assets too. The 50/50 during marriage only applies to pension contributions...

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