Divorce and work

[NextChapter2019]

I'm just wondering how everyone who is going through a divorce is coping at work? I'm in the early stages of my divorce (only filed a couple of weeks ago) and my motivation in my work has totally departed. I'm finding it so hard to concentrate, I just feel so down.

Anyone else feel like this and what can I do to get my mojo back?

I’ve been ok about the divorce ( I instigated it but he filed) but trying to sell the house amongst Brexit drama is stressful and demoralising when getting stupid offers. Can’t move on

I'm hearing you. I'm six months on from separating.

For the first two months at work, I could barely concentrate at all. I think that's normal if you think of it as big life-shift that can hit you like a kind of bereavement. I felt like I was walking in lead boots. It was really hard to work, I couldn't keep my head straight and I didn't feel I could tell anyone at work what I was going through. I had to plough on though. What helped if I couldn't stop thinking about it was writing things down in a little diary for a few minutes to "get rid of them", then getting on with work. Each day was a struggle, and I thought I'd never get through.

But I can safely say that now, six months on, with things starting to settle, I'm more productive than ever! I realise what a drain the relationship was on all areas of life, including work. What helped was taking two weeks' annual leave a few months after the separation. I couldn't go on holiday, and was instead moping at home dealing with all the separation admin. But just that break from work seemed to help.

I now feel more energised and focussed than ever at work.

Just wanted to say there's hope there, and what you're feeling is normal.

Also think about what support you might need outside work at home. The insomnia/waking at 3am was bad for me also at this stage, and I don't think that helps concentration.

Good luck.