I should thank you, mumsnetters, for all your support that you gave me when I hit that emotional rock bottom. And as words of hope for all women that are going through an unsolicited divorce, there is light at the end of that tunnel. Life's still not a bed of roses, but it will become bearable, with the usual ups and downs. I was lucky to have found a job, then another, a better-paying one. I was lucky to have met a special someone, although we only see each other once every month because of the distance involved...
The most difficult part for me, maybe, is putting on my big-girl pants and dealing with the financial matters - the mortgage, the savings, the pension, etc., all the stuff that my ExH was dealing with. I'm constantly afraid that I mess something up, and this is the primary reason while I'm still in the marital home - I'm crazy insecure about my abilities to handle the move.
I work a full-time job, have taken a number of proficiency courses in my line of work, arranged a part-time nanny for my daughter, and I'm trying to have a resemblance of social and romantic life once in a while.
I reconnected with literally a couple of old friends that my ExH used to dislike and made new friendships.
Yet, sometimes I cannot but feel down, remembering all the good things about my failed marriage and my now ExH. These good memories mixed with the bitterness of the divorce and its emotional backdrop are excruciating. I start looking back and going in circles, asking myself where I did wrong... I don't think I love my ExH, but I do miss him :(