Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

What did you do to make yourself feel better?

14 replies

kayaholly · 03/03/2019 12:09

Ok so I am excercising my inner bitch Grin

Looking at it from the point of view that I have just dropped 20+ stone of dead weight, and currently on the divorce diet which has made me drop 1.5 and a dress size in a week, my next thing is getting a new hairdo, focusing on making myself feel good, and dropping all my old baggage.

Any suggestions as to what else I could be doing to help me stay positive, and what did people find helped them in the early days of separation?

And also anything that will put across to my dickhead ex that I am not falling apart and pining away for him. Halo (which I'm not )

OP posts:
2018anewstart · 04/03/2019 00:11

Just do some of the things your partner would never do. It feels liberating!

Warmhandscoldheart · 04/03/2019 00:23

I threw our marital double bed out the day after he left, it was so cathartic. Enjoy your new life Smile

Original poster
kayaholly · 04/03/2019 15:35

I threw out all the bedclothes, repainted my kitchen, took all his clothes and moved him out of my house. That got me through the first few days, now I'm ready to start fixing me again. I am on the divorce diet, lost a stone and a half, and I'm very cuddly so it's not a bad thing, down 2 top sizes, all of which is very positive, and instantly dropped 23 stone of dead weight Grin
I just think for me the best thing to do is let him see that I am not going to fall apart over him, his ego doesn't need that rub

OP posts:
lovealab · 04/03/2019 16:09

1st thing i did was remove all his belongings from my house, tidied up the kitchen cupboards and drawers, sorted them out to how I liked having them, repainted the bedroom, replaced the bedding, bought a new mattress and pillows, threw out any wedding associated things, photos, wedding cards etc, removed him from Facebook, blocked any avenue of contact from him i.e phone, text & emails Grin

Warmhandscoldheart · 04/03/2019 16:30

They hate to think we can't cope and will call into a crumpled heap without them Grin Onward and upward

Warmhandscoldheart · 04/03/2019 16:31

Fall not call Grin

MollysLips · 04/03/2019 16:36

I basically put "my" stamp on the house, right down to painting the fence.

iamthrough · 05/03/2019 11:40

I agree with @2018Newstart make a list of things you'd like to do but for whatever reason didn't get round to while with your ex. This could be simple like certain TV shows He hated - but you like - or big stuff like rebuilding your career. Make a list of a mixture of "big" and "little" things and have fun making your way through the list.

Oh and having a coffee and natter with girlfriends who are in a similar situation is a godsend. Seek out people who may also be going through a separation - trust me they are out there!

spritesobright · 05/03/2019 20:12

I got my teeth whitened 😂 and removed a mole on my neck I never liked.
I also bought myself a vibrator, booked a surfing holiday and went to a spa. And lots of gardening and decluttering.
I called it my year of yes (ongoing) and said yes to every invitation I received. Snogged a guy I'd just met...
That was my manic phase though. Now things are calmer, more settled and I am dealing with the grief.

spritesobright · 05/03/2019 20:14

But most definitely the best thing I did was lean on my friends. Girls nights out are the BEST for reminding you that you do not need a man!!!

chocolateandcocktails001 · 07/03/2019 00:29

All of these things I did in the first few months:

  1. Get all the jobs finished in the house he never did.
  2. Change the stuff in the house making it my home rather than our home.
  3. new underwear.
  4. New clothes that I never used to buy.
  5. Some new make up, getting hair and nails done.
  6. Having some holidays to look forward to.
  7. Starting to make plans for myself.
  8. Started to have a life of my own, ie going out more.
  9. Having a good sort through my finances, getting his name off stuff I could, getting rid of things that were his responsibility and not mine and reducing some bills where I could ie council tax and car insurance.
Tiddleypops · 07/03/2019 05:47

Ha, grinning reading these! Adding all of them to my to do list to keep me going till he effs off!

Purplejay · 07/03/2019 18:00

New clothes, pillows, bedding.
A glass of wine (or two) candles and box sets he wouldn’t like.
Planning and taking days out.
Planning and booking holidays.
Seeing friends.
Making plans for the house.
Removing his stuff.
Taking down wedding photos and ornaments (that he liked or I was fed up with).

Pinkpanthershow · 10/03/2019 19:21

I just can’t wait until we don’t live together and I can get my life back. Still in the same house and it is miserable and I just want to move on.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread