I’ve posted on here before a while ago. But I just need some positive affirmation again.
STBEXH just started divorce proceedings... with my ‘unreasonable behaviour’ cited. We barely have any contact now, although yesterday I saw him in the car when I was driving back from the gym and stupidly texted him.. which ended up being a long text convo (anger) and a phone call (me crying a lot).
I miss him so much, I miss the person he was. He has nothing nice to say to me, blames me for everything.. takes no responsibility for any of this. I’m not perfect and I’ve spent the last 7 months beating myself up over all my flaws and faults. He’s so angry at me. Can’t understand why I can ‘get over it’.. we were married 5 years and together for 12 and he only sees the bad now. Says I look at things through rose tinted glasses. He is so cruel.. and has such a low opinion of me.. says I’ll be a dickhead about the divorce (I haven’t been at all) drag things out (I haven’t.. he said he didn’t file for divorce until last week because he was a nice guy).. i hate myself and blame me for him leaving. I do work too hard, I’m financially a bit crap and always have been, I took too long to decide if I wanted a baby. I just can’t see any of this getting any better.
He’s now threatening to stop paying into our joint account his half of the mortgage. I’ve spoken to my solicitor and waiting to hear what he has to say.. the only thing we’ve been to is mediation and the financial outcome has been drawn up from the mediator. I was advised not to do anything with the house until the divorce has gone through. Which the STBEXH Doesn’t like because he’s in rented accommodation and feels like he ‘can’t move on’.. so blaming me for that as well. I think he thought that this would take a few weeks to sort out. My gorgeous friend is also getting a divorce and she told be that they can take 400 days to sort.. and that’s the simple ones. It’s so typical of him not to have throught this through yet blame me again.
I’m sorry I’ve waffled on but I hate myself so much.
Nearly 36, soon to be divorced, sad and lonely. Please help me :(
AimeeFrank · 21/02/2019 07:03
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