My husband left me and hates me suddenly?

[PleaseSayItGetsBetter]

I've posted on here a few times but keep NC. Brief story is that my "D"H suddenly fell out of love with me and spent months messing me around before finally leaving. Lots of lies and crap treatment which has been a shock as he was always so great when we were together (over a decade with children).

Now it's officially over and he's moved out he treats me with so little respect and almost hatred. I have no idea where it comes from. He left me for someone else and whilst we were trying I tried so hard (no idea there was someone else) so I genuinely haven't done anything horrible to him.

Is this just a phase we will get through? I don't like him for all the crap he's done and the way he's treated me but I do hope that in the future we will have some sort of friendship for the sake of the kids.

Please also tell me it gets better for me - that I won't feel so shit and being a single mum isn't the end of the world?

I expect in his mind he has had to shift the blame to you and this is why he dislikes you... strange but often true

I've read it is common on here. I'm just wondering if it lasts as it feels like I'm being kicked whilst I'm down despite not actually doing anything (I'm not perfect but he genuinely couldn't give me a reason to end our marriage other than he'd suddenly fallen out of love with me).

It sounds like he feels shit about himself for the betrayal (and probably general unhappiness) and he's projecting it onto you.
My ex did this. I tore myself up trying to 'fix' myself but it turns out all along he just wasn't happy with himself.
You must not take it personally!
And realise that you are dealing with someone who would lie to you, betray you, and then project all his bad feelings onto you! He is not your friend - try to let go of that idea.

No contact is the best way to go. I tried to "be friends" and understand him for so long and looking back it was such a waste of time and energy.

Rereading my post I wanted to add that 9 months down the line things are definitely better!
Therapy, time off work, talking to friends and taking up new hobbies helped!
We have kids too and of course that makes NC much more difficult.
Hugs OP, and hang in there!

The same behaviour from my stbxh.... they must have read the same 'how to be an arsehole' manual.
I don't give it a second thought, I'm happy and I don't give two figs if he is or not, and I'm certainly not taking any blame for his shitty behaviour.
In fairness I knew he was a morally weak nasty person the whole relationship, so it's not a huge surprise.

I was in the same position as you. You have to take control back by putting boundaries up . Don't listen, put the phone down, shut the door . You are not his angry punch bag, he chose this and has to live with it. He won't like it but then boundary him again .

I guarantee you will feel you are taking some of your life back ( my coubseller in my divorce said this as my ex was like yours) . He is guilty but is dealing with it by throwing it out, mainly at you . Tell him to go get a counsellor and shut the door