Child benefit after separation

[emogey]

Hi, I hope this is the right place to post this. Me and my LO's father recenlty split up and he is getting really funny with me about me being the one to get the Child Benefit payment.

Child benefit has always been paid to me and gone straight towards our nursery fees. my ex is now saying that he should pay 40 quid less towards nursery because he has DS 50% of the time, and therefore 50% of the money is his. He earns less than me and 40 quid off the total of our nursery bill would be beneficial to him.

The issue I have is that I physically cannot afford to pay an extra £40 on childcare as the cb payment is already included in my budget for the month and I've been using the food bank as it is.

He doesn't seem to understand I can't afford this extra money and is talking about applying to becoming our son's primary carer because he thinks I'm using our son for the money. I'm at a complete loss and don't know what to do. can anyone help? am I being unreasonable?

Are you getting universal credit, or tax credits?

If he’s bitching about £40 a month then how on earth is he planning to afford court fees?

If you are the resident parent then you get the child benefit. It’s going towards you son’s nursery fees, it’s not like you’re spending £40 on wine or whatever.

Ignore his bluster, if he’s serious he’ll take it to court. Just don’t get into any kind of conversation with him about it.

Have you checked to see if you’re entitled to Universal Credit?

@emogey well that all depends really, do you buy all of his clothing? Shoes? Coats? Or does exP buy for the 50% he is with him?

If it's genuinely 5050 then the cb should be shared as should all the expenses.

When I was in a 5050 arrangement ex claimed the cb as he was then entitled to tax credits etc which I wasn't entitled to due to my income being too high. He tgen paid me the amount of the cb and everyone was better off than they otherwise would have been. Is your relationship amicable enough to sit down and work it out so it's truly fair?

I'm getting UC. He doesn't get anything benefit-wise, and we are using the childcare and child elements of UC for the nursery bills and then splitting the difference 50/50. So essesntially this month I'm paying £620 of nursery (including my UC payment) and he's paying £160. On paper it seems fair but I can't help but feel that he's got the better end of the deal, so to speak. I have no clue where to go from here or whether it's worth even arguing about any more. Having the same argument about this £40 so much and whenever I mention the fact I can't afford more than I'm already paying, he goes off on one about how I'm clearly just wanting it for beer money and not spending it on DS, followed by a tirade of calling me a narcissist over and over again. It's exhausting.

It's sounds like you've worked it out fairly tbh as long as he pays half of all the other expenses like clothes and swimming lessons or anything other regular payments

@emogey write all your expenses down and shove it in his face 😁

Mine is getting antsy about me claiming even though it was his income that meant we didn't get it at all.