Separation after 30+ years of marriage

[Abiamber]

I think I’ve finally decided that enough is enough. Been married 33 years. I’m 57 H is 67. Have 1Dc at uni and DD 15 at home. DD 2 has some mental health issues and rarely attends school even though she is very bright. DD and H don’t get on with H constantly going on about how she is wasting her life. I am in the middle and can’t take it any more. DD is also very controlling of me and I’m so worn down I find it hard to stand up to her. H is a very negative person and also blames me for the way DD behaves saying I’ve always given in to her. I feel that DD and I would be better off without H but will my life be worse with just DD. I have arranged to view a rental house with a view to moving out. DD knows and is already saying older DD can’t live with us and can’t stay for a few weeks until she is settled and things are sorted. If I leave it will be by stealth and I also worry about how to tell H and older DD. Any advice please

Perhaps you should make it clear to dd2 that it is you as the parent who is welcome into the new family home, dd1 is part of the family and this so will be welcomed without restrictions. You sound very bullied by H and dd2. I think asserting yourself is the best option, you're moving away from the highest ranking bully only for the underdog to take his place and it's not on, you are in charge and you, as the parent have every such right! Could you expand on why she doesn't want her sister there until she deems acceptable??

Sorry, awful typos, hope you understand the gist

Rent a flat for you and DC1 and leave H and DD2 to get on with it.