I've been with oh 14 years this year we've had lots of ups and downs. In October we had a big row and he said he wanted to leave then he decided he didn't we both said we would try. I feel like I have been trying his big thing is he wants me to be tidier. I asked him to do 3 things, be kinder to me a compliment every so often, come shopping with me and time his showers so we can both use the ensuite small petty things really. Since October none of the things I've asked for have really happened. I've been off work the last 2 weeks and spent them feeling confused about every thing I've googled how to leave, houses I could afford etc. This morning I told him I feel sad and I need him to show more love and affection. Tonight I've made packed lunches for everyone for work tomorrow. Then I noticed his was in the bin he had gone to bed so i went and I asked what was wrong with it he said he's starting a diet tomorrow and won't eat sandwiches. I said couldn't he have eaten it tomorrow it's a waste and he started shouting at me he told me to f off i said i would never talk to him that way. He started shouting at me to shut up and get out I said I didn't understand all this reaction about a sandwich!
Dd came into the room asking what was going on and he shouted at her to get out he then got out of bed in his pjs and drove off in his car. He came back half an hour later and has gone back to bed.
I can't do this any more I don't want the children to think that an acceptable way to talk to anyone. I'm sick of waiting for things to improve and they don't. I'm scared of separating.
I went through a long court case last year with little support from him I won and got a large sum I bought the house we live in outright he would only agree to it being 70/30 split in my favour in Oct he was telling me he wasn't going anywhere till the house was sold and he got his 30%. I don't know what to do next I can't carry on like this it's not fair on me or the children. I don't want them to lose their home as well as their family. I think I could possibly stay her till the youngest is 18 but I don't know if I want to be tied to to him until then. Oh is disabled he works full time at the minute but this could change any time. I've looked into universal credit etc and I'm scared.
I'm on a temporary contract at work hopefully I will have a job until July 2020. But I'm already worrying about what happens then.
I'm not even sure where I'm meant to sleep tonight, it's my first day back at work tomorrow I wanted a chilled relaxed night and a good sleep I'm dreading work tomorrow.
Dd is going to my parents tomorrow she's not back at school until Tues and I don't know if she will say anything to them, I've told her it's fine to talk to granny and grandad about it if she wants but I can't face the questions if she does.