Mediation

[Nj1208]

Hi,

Looking for advice please.

Myself and my soon to be ex husband cannot agree a routine for my daughter. To cut a long story shirt, he wants to stick to the routine we currently have in place whereas I want to work it on alternative weekends.

After countless emails back and forth, things are starting to become messy and I think the best way forward would be mediation.

I live with a constant fear that he will try to take me to court for more access/ custody of my daughter due to our differences in opinion.

My divorce solicitor has told me that we have to try mediation before going to court. Is this correct and do any of you have any positive stories of mediation?

Thanks
Steph

Anyone?

That is correct you need to go to mediation before filing a C100.

Mediation is a just a way of legal professionals gouging a bit more money from divorcing couples.

You don't have to do mediation, there are some valid reasons for not doing so. Check out MIAM appointments and it will lead you to read reasons when you can go straight to court. If you have an ex who will mess you about it might be better to do this. You need advice , can you see a solicitor for the first free appointment ?

She said she's already seen a solicitor, so I'm assuming it's already been discussed. See:

www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/family-mediation/assessment-meeting-miam/miams-exemptions/

Hey, I'm going through exactly this. You do not need to go to mediation before court but it looks good on you if you try mediation first. Also there's a chance court could send u away to try mediation

You do have to attend a MIAM. Whether you then go forward with mediation or the mediator signs the exemption form will be decided then.

Courts do like to see that parents have tried to put the children first and mediation is the preferred way to do this.

Mediation is 100% voluntary
What is the latest with you?

Mediation is not voluntary. You have to attend a MIAM. Your papers will be returned to you if you have not attended a MIAM. Only if you have good reason will the courts accept a couple have not been to mediation.

The focus of a mediation meeting is to reach a common sense settlement agreeable to both parties in a case. Mediation is a voluntary process and will only take place if both parties agree. It is a confidential process where the terms of discussion are not disclosed to any party outside the mediation hearing.

Well OK, we're talking semantics really.

The way you worded it made it seem like the OP could pick and choose whether she goes or not. Technically that's right, but you do need to go through the process of showing you have attended a MIAM before you submit papers to the Court.

FWIW, I did not mediate with my abusive ex, but I have been to two MIAMs which served to show that I was willing to work with the court process but that the situation was such that mediation was not appropriate for us. I don't really regard that as voluntary.

How long has the routine been in place? Are the kids happy with it? And what benefit would it have to the kids if you amended it?