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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

I can't afford a solicitor/ mediation break up so messy

11 replies

Chickenedout · 02/01/2019 10:26

My DH left in Jan 17 my choice he was removed by police. Since he been gone he is very very bitter. But he keeps Willy nillingly texting the kids saying he is on his way to come see then . He has blocked me so I can have no contact with him. I keep panicking he will show up at the house ( past domestic abuse and huge huge temper ) he sought mediation however at 84 pound a session and being off on long term sick (anxiety and depression) I cannot afford it, or a solicitor. he pays maintenance but less then what cms say he should and seldomly has them overnight , last week he woke the household up at 5am to hand the children Xmas gifts he bought for them despite me saying 5am is too early (he was on route to work) because he got them all gifts probably spent about 50 each on them he deducted this out of my maintenance so I am once again short this month. Cms said it will take up to April to get an attachment of earnings order in place. I'm just hitting my head against a brick wall here

OP posts:
Pockybot · 02/01/2019 10:40

Try lawworks org U.K.

Chickenedout · 02/01/2019 11:27

Thank you

OP posts:
Love2all2017 · 07/01/2019 22:39

Saw this and just wanted to post to say sorry you're going through this. I'm also dealing with a bitter ex and it can be so incredibly messy. Look after yourself and be strong. You can do this x

RandomMess · 07/01/2019 22:42

As he is abusive you don't have to go through mediation they will sign it off as not appropriate.

Speak to women's aid they will have local contacts, give advice on getting a non-molestation order so he can't turn up at your house.

ThanksThanksThanksThanksThanksThanksThanks

Chickenedout · 08/01/2019 11:13

I've managed to get the non molestation order put through as emergency , I just want something in place for the kids really but it doesn't look like that is ever going to happen

OP posts:
RandomMess · 08/01/2019 11:24

You could put in writing that as he refuses to come to a reasonable agreement and stick to arrangements and he is using contact to further abuse and intimate you that you will no longer permit contact until he has obtained a contact order and he is emotionally abusing the DC in order to control you.

ThanksThanksThanksThanksThanksThanks

Chickenedout · 08/01/2019 19:27

Will that have to be done in court ? I just want to move on with my life , but have the children have contact as at the end of the day he is their dad , funny thing is it's only the middle child that seems at all bothered to see him ...

OP posts:
RandomMess · 08/01/2019 19:39

A court order yes it would go through court but it would dictate when you have to make the DC available and other than that he wouldn't be able to see them and would have to stop messing them around.

  1. He may not bother taking it to court but he isn't actually bothered about seeing them.
  1. If you don't take this stance he is going carry on abusing you and them in the way he has been.

He will never be reasonable or put the DC first.

RandomMess · 08/01/2019 19:40

How old are the DC btw?

MissMalice · 08/01/2019 19:41

If there is DV you may be entitled to legal aid.

ivegotthisyeah · 15/01/2019 16:01

You may also be entitled to free mediation if your on a low income good luck x

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