Share a different perspective
I got the verdict from my husband while I was in my sister's house the day after Christmas, not one tear on video conversation. I kind of felt it for the last 2 months, I have already cried for his departure.
18 year absolute devotion, I know him very well in one way, but still shocked in other ways. It's strange feeling, pain, but I am not angry. We only spend a few hours during a long journey back from capital airport to our little small home in the remote island after the shocking conversation online, and he left to start his new life with another woman in a new country next morning.
It's complicated, our 18 years marriage is almost like normal 60 years marriage, we do everything together, holiday, visit places/family, even work together. we probably only had 1 year apart in the last 18 years. Only time I ever thought could be end of our marriage was because he decide to move out a place I loved, but I decide to follow him after I thought through that his love is more important than stay in a place that I called spiritual home.
I am happy that our marriage didn't end in doubt, was in the best that I can imaging. I am sure there are other women felt same way as me.
Listening to how he falling love for her on a trip we travelled together in Oct, and how she was here for a few days while I was away during Christmas have certainly helped him to make this decision. I feel pain that how he done this, but same time, seeing him truly happy I am actually really happy for him, not jealous but blessing is all I can give.
I remember that I have told him a month ago that he is only one I care about and attach to, now knowing that he seems strong and do not need my support as much, I feel happy for him, to know that I do not need to worry about him is good in the event of my death. I have some suspicious in the last 2 months, but I decide to trust him and gave him plenty of space. So little did I know was because he is in contact with another women made him seems strong and distant from me.
I know the last 18 years has been some ups and downs, but our commitment and love were there, of course, life become too normal in the recent years, we didn't move houses anymore, repeat doing same things everyday; isolation in the remote island without family and friends, running a small business together took away the romance. It's nature for him to feel excited when first female in our age group appeared open for love - a new passionate life for both of them.
How he handled this, I still not quiet sure. If I was another woman, I will not dated him as I would doubt his honesty and integrity; but same time as a wife of 18 years, I thank him for the support and love he provided. I can only say, I know that 18 years was real and I would not be who I am today without him. Divorce bring worse in people sometimes, but seems we are doing well, we don't have a lot of money so finances is easy to split, he left without any attachment, and I truly wish him long term happiness with this woman. And we are going to work together to run a few trips together this year, will have to see how that goes.
I never understood how ex become good friend, now it looks like we can be good friends and at least a few more months business partner as well.
I am not a native English speaker but English has became my expressive language, so apologise for my simple language.