Pension question after 3 yrs married

[Albadross]

I'm about to separate from my H after 3 years marriage. He's freelance and has no pension, I pay for life insurance for us both and have a good job with a pension but I'm only late thirties so nowhere near to claiming it.

If we divorce now will he get a load of my pension? Before we were married he was earning more than twice what I was and yet still made me pay half of everything. We had a huge loss that was only covered by insurance I had paid for and that became the deposit for our house.

It feels very unfair that he's just chosen to not take out his own pension but might get half of the one I worked my arse off for.

3 years is classed as a short marriage isn't it? So presumably he won't be able to get any of your pension? Particularly the pension accrued before you got married. No kids I assume so will hopefully be just sorting out the split of the house. I'd see a solicitor asap to get the ball rolling.

I believe for short marriages, no kids the norm is a full and final settlement and the length of marriage is a factor - it's not 50/50 they look at the assets you brought into the relationship. The best option is to talk and come up with a solution you both think is fair, next option is mediation, if you resort to the court the only winners are the lawyers!

The pension can be taken into account. This will depend on other assets and what the split is.

If you are in Scotland only the pension you accrued during the marriage is split, elsewhere in the UK the full pension can be split if it is ordered as part of the settlement.

You can offset it so you keep your pension and he keeps something of similar value.

You need to talk to a solicitor I would imagine.

1 DC. We own a house but no other joint assets.

Did you live together before marriage?

Having a DC can really cloud the issue depending on who is primary carer now, and who DC will live with after divorce. Will your ex be wanting 50/50 residency? You will both then need suitable accommodation for you and DC if that is the case.

Yes we lived together for 6 years before marriage.

I will be doing most school runs and after school care because I work from home (which also causes an issue if I have to leave) so although we have agreed 50/50 logistically I will need to be wherever dc is at night.

H is adamant that I should leave and he stay in the house with dc because I'm the one that wants to split.

Good luck with this one

how much of the house is actually yours and how much belongs to the bank? it may not be that much of an asset?

is 50:50 childcare really in the best interests of the child? will the child be happy constantly swapping between households with neither feeling like it is truly 'home'? it's not about being fair to both parents, sometimes being fair to the child is more important.

it's a complex situation and you cannot approach it without proper paid-for legal advice. mn cannot substitute.

Although the marriage is short, the period of living together can be taken into account. So there is a possibility that your pension will be taken into account. But only what you have saved so far.

Get some good legal advice.

Yes definitely get legal advice. It is more complex than first appeared. I would say definitely don't leave the house and DC. My ex h refused to speak one word to me during the divorce so it all had to be through solicitors which cost a fortune, he also refused to move out so we lived under the same roof for about 18 months while it all went through!

Only the marital part of the pension is split.

So expect it to be very small indeed.

Nothing to worry about.

50/50 only applies to what was earned during marriage. Fact.

So many people including my cheating ex think you can marry then walk out and claim 50% of everything. They are incorrect.

If you are in England, pre marital things can taken into account. However fairness will apply.

If in Scotland, it is very clear, only from marriage to seperation.