Where do i stand?

[Mumofboys1986]

Hi! I have made an appointment to see a solicitor in the New Year but just wondered if anyone has any advice. My husband and i had our eldest in 2011 got married in 2012, bought our first home in 2013. He didnt allow me to include my name on the mortgage because at the time i wasnt earning anything, was classed as a 'dependant' so it lowered his borrowing potential. He has paid the mortgage by himself. I work self employed have been raising our two children. He works away two weeks of the month and apart from paying the mortgage doesnt contribute anything towards the general upbringing of the boys-my wages cover that. We are now looking into separating and he takes grest pleasure in telling me im not entitled to the house or any of the equity. I want to remain amicable for the sake of our children but his childish ways are the main reason for divorcing. Am i right in thinking regardless of whether my name is on the mortgage, because we are married and bought the home after our wedding it is classed as a marital asset? In an ideal world i'd like to keep the house for the sake of our children but i dont think he would allow this or be able to buy himself anywhere unless we sell. Has anyone been in a similar situation or able to offer some guidance to help put my mind at rest?

It's highly likely that the equity (presumably not all that much if paying the mortgage only a few years, unless a large deposit?) will be counted as a marital asset to be shared. The equity, savings accounts, other property and assets, pensions are all potentially part of the pot to be shared. If you cannot agree a deal between you, then ultimately a court will want to see the children adequately provided for. Many things are possible -- you reside in the house a while longer; house gets sold. More detail needed. And, if you think he's going to make things difficult and not be fair/equitable, then probably you'll need to be working through a lawyer.

Thank you for the quick response waterspider. We are lucky enough to have 130k equity in the home-we bought it very cheaply. Outstanding mortgage is 100k. He is very keen to buy somewhere smaller for himself-not too worried about me or the children and where they will live :(

Should add-children are 2.5 and 7

He may have been the main contributor financially but you have contributed in raising the children and by doing so have allowed him to increase his earning capacity.
I would guess the legal advice you will receive will suggest the least you would be entitled to is 50/50, as your earning potential is limited compared to his IF the children stay with you as this again limits the amount you can earn and in turn set yourself up again.
It may be that you eventually need to sell the house as im not sure you could afford the £100k mortgage plus any money you may need to pay him for part of the house, but this could be negotiated over a time.
It's not just his house, you have occupation rights and have contributed to the family.
I hope you can work this out amicably

He's being very ignorant and clueless if he thinks the house and equity all belong to him just because the house is in his sole name! As a married woman you have rights. One of the possibilities is that the court could order the house to be transferred into your sole name. I'm not saying it would, necessarily, but it could!

Also need to consider -- likely child maintenance (look under CM Options online) and if you might get universal credit. The latter will depend on what you are earning. Solicitors will help you consider if 50/50 is the right approach; if possible a high degree of financial independence is desirable. But the needs of the children, particularly when so young, will be the first consideration. Where do they live and how is that affordable?

How long did you live together consecutively before marrying? Because that counts towards the length of the "marriage"

Is he planning to rent while house is sold? If so I would keep quiet and let him think he’s entitled to equity until he has left and you are established as main carer. Your contribution will have at least equal value and poss more if your past and future earnings restricted due to childcare. So if your dh is not planning on doing after half of school pick ups and school holiday care it might be 60/40 in your favour.

He refuses to move out as this is "his house" We separated briefly in 2014 for a few months and i had to move out with our then 3 year old as he wouldnt. We made another go of things and had our second in 2016 but things have gone downhill drastically since my mum passed away last year and i've realised life is just too short to be unhappy! I feel completely trapped though because i cant afford the mortgage on my own, he wont leave and i dont want to uproot my children. As i said, the best option would be for him to go as he is only here half the time anyway but he wont :'( He is a great dad but we are just a terrible match and clash in so many areas. We have lived together since 2010 so 8 years in total.

Finding employed work is also difficult for me because of the fact he works away and isnt here at all to help with childcare. I dont have a lot of help in that sense hence the reason i became self employed and work for myself. I keep thinking maybe i should wait until my youngest starts school but thats over 18months away...

Just sit tight, you can register an interest in the property as you are married. You need a good divorce solicitor that is on your side and will ensure you and the DC get what you need.

When you got married everything became a joint asset. That is everything you both owned and earned before and during the marriage. It’s doesnt matter whose name is on it. That covers equity, pensions, things of high value, savings and debt.

Now you are getting divorced you agree how to split those assets. The starting point is 50/50. However the needs of your children will impact on this share. They will need to be housed and have a relationship with both of you. So you will both need homes. However the courts will recognise differences in income and make allowances for that. This is usually in the form of a bigger share of the equity to allow for a clean break. However it can be a few years of spousal maintenance or agreement you stay in the home until you are able to improve your income. That is when the children are in school, not necessarily when they are 18.

He would be expected to pay child maintenance in any case until they are 18.

He could well believe that he gets it all but I doubt it. He knows he is screwed. But he is trying to get you out of the house. Don’t go unless it is unsafe. Staying in house gives him leverage. Getting him out would be my first priority. However just like you he has every right to stay. don’t make it comfortable for him.

See a solicitor ASAP. But offer mediation. It will not be a good idea to debate with him. Let him find out from others. Be prepared for him wanting an another chance.