Parenting with asd child and living 3 hours apart?

[JanisJoplin73]

Has anyone managed to come to an arrangement where an autistic child has regular weekends with ex h without too much disruption? My children are currently not staying away with stbxh as I don’t think my son could manage it but this means I get no child free time and I have to have contact with ex which i find upsetting and which makes me so angry ( he is so self pitying and withholding). I want my son to have a good relationship with his father, I despsarately need a break occasionally but I just don’t know how to make it work for
My son without trauma.

I have a daughter extreme ASD nonverbal violent outburst etc.She is the youngest the other 2 in their 20s.
We both work full time and have a carer .whom we pay for He does nothing much with her refuses to do any personal care either.Which is a big problem so when the time comes for us to sell up and the divorce is through.I will not be able to afford the carer and neither will he have her overnight etc.
I worry how this will pan out her relationship is neither here nor there with him .you definitely need breaks have you had discussions with social services you are entitled to respite care,
Remember that the condition is for life so make sure you have good representation for this .your soon to be ex has to maintain for life it’s not till 19 or 20 years
All the best