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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Coercive control

4 replies

Mummsy1 · 22/12/2018 21:25

I have been brought to court 5 times by my ex-partner and he has also called the police on me. In the last court case he brought me back on a technicality and after using a barrister in the last court case he was given more time with the children. As a result of the extra time awarded my son was devastated and his behaviour has deteriorated at school especially when he is due a longer period of time with his dad e.g. summer and Christmas holidays. The ex-partner has now referred me to social services 7 times. It is coercive control, he has lost no house, in fact he owes me money, he doesn't pay any child maintenance, and he has no job. I believe he is now working on to get the children full time so he can stay in his house, gain benefits etc. Do you know a good barrister near Bury St Edmunds? I work in education, I am DBS checked. He doesn't want me to move on causing me stress for nearly 4 years.

OP posts:
Mummsy1 · 22/12/2018 21:41

How can someone who never helped in the care of children when they are babies- able to get a court order to grant all his wishes?

OP posts:
MotherOfDragonite · 23/12/2018 14:14

How old are your children? Can you get school to record how his behaviour deteriorates in the run up to holidays?

So sorry this is happening to you. Unfortunately I think your suspicion is right.

Mummsy1 · 23/12/2018 19:40

The children are 7 and 6 years old.
A very good question about asking the school to record my son's behaviour especially with all these agencies involved- Cafcass, Police. Social Services.
I asked the school to record his behaviour since last summer but this has not happened. I went in on the last day of the Autumn term to find out his behaviour was poor again before the Christmas holidays. I intend ringing every week from now on.
Do you know of any good barristers in Bury St Edmunds area, Suffolk?
I believe the ex's next move is to try and get the children full time.
Thanks for your time and support

OP posts:
Ella1980 · 07/01/2019 01:51

I went through similar when I left my controlling ex in Jan 2014. He has taken me to court repeatedly. He initially applied for full custody of our sons (they were just 3 and 6 at the time) for no other reason except to hurt me. They awarded exactly 50:50. It is a truly frightening time but just want you to know that you are not alone in what you're going through x

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