Marriage is over - advice please re house/mortgages and finances

[Mrsm2812]

Hi

I know that I will need proper legal advice but I would appreciate any advice I can get from here from anyone and especially if there are any solicitors on here.

Basically without going into all the details, me and DH are about to part ways I think and I want to know where I stand as I fear it’ll turn nasty and because 4 years ago I gave up my job to be at home with our youngest child, I think my DH thinks he holds power over me because he earns the money and I now rely on him financially because I have been a SAHM for the last four years.
So the situation.... we have a mortgage but it’s in my name solely and I bought the house on my own 14 years ago before I met DH. DH and I have been married for 7 years so he has been living in the house for 7 years and both have contributed to the bills and house etc. As I say, I have up my job 4 years ago and I am at home. We have his wages and receive child tax credits.
If he leaves, he will stop his wages going into the bank account we use he has told me and I am terrified as to how I will pay the mortgage and the bills. I will presumably have to look for work but the advice I would like is re the house.
I have been told by a friend that as the house was bought by me before the marriage and not during the marriage that it is not a marital asset and that I should be able to keep the house and stay in it for the kids. Is this correct or will he go to a solicitor and will I be obliged to raise half and give him half? I always thought that if you slit up you had the house valued and say for example the house was worth £130k that you’d work out the amount that goes back to the mortgage so for example say £60k if still owed on the mortgage and the rest is split so In this case it would be £70k split 50/50 and I’d have to give him £35k in order for me to be able to stay in the house. Is it this clear cut or does he not have rights because it’s all in my name and because I acquired the house before him?
I am terrified of losing the house. Any advice greatly appreciated, thanks

Hi Iam sorry to hear that your marriage is ending. Iam no legal expert but I didn't want to read and run. I found this online, I hope it is of some help.

Who Gets the Marital Home After a Divorce?

If you are getting a divorce and you moved into your spouse’s house after you were married, then the house would not normally be part of the property distribution because it was separate property, since it was acquired before the marriage took place. You won't be allowed to keep the house in most cases, nor will you necessarily get a portion of the proceeds of the sale of the house if it is sold.

The general rule is, anything that was owned before marriage by either party is separate property and not subject to distribution in a divorce. However, there are some situations where part of the value of the home may belong to the non-owning spouse.

When You Might Have a Claim

Issues arise when the property value of separate property increases over the course of the marriage. In this situation, it is important to determine the reason or reasons that the property value increased. If improvements were made to the home during the marriage, this may increase the value. This would be classified as an active increase. A passive increase, on the other hand, is one that is caused by market forces or inflation.

An active increase is made by one or both parties working or managing their own or their spouses separate property and improving it. This increase may be subject to marital distribution. In cases of active increase, the spouse that owns the home would have to buy the non-owner out in order to keep the house or the non-owner would get a portion of the proceeds if the home was sold.

The tricky part here is to decide how much of the home’s value increase was the result of the improvements and how much of it was inflation and the market. A real estate professional or appraiser can help determine this. After determining the value of the improvements to the home, you have to decide how much each person contributed, financially, to the improvements.

Sadly the quoted section above comes from an American website, and the UK situation is rather different.

There are lots of things to be considered, but the paramount objective will be to ensure that children are adequately looked after. The worst you should get is 50% of net assets (remember to include any savings and work pensions); if you are going to look after the kids then perhaps more (or a delay in any transfers of wealth for a while whilst you try to get into work).

Child support also payable to you from him, again assuming you do more childcare.

Overall, lots of the law in this area is designed to protect you. Even so, in time you will likely be expected to seek work and gain independence, at least when the kids are at school.

This isn’t America. You are not free. He will snaffle some of your house.

To OP

When there is young children involved Courts will likely give more priority to their needs than those of the parents. However, once children are aged 7 and above it is expected that the Resident Parent seeks work. Refer to the 2015 Get a Job Ruling.

If total assets are sufficient for both partners to be housed then courts may order the sale of existing house to enable both to buy a house they need. Key Word here is NEED. Maybe that both partners end up living in a smaller property?

@Mrsm2812

Speak to the mortgage lenders and ask if you can take a mortgage break pending a divorce or until you sort out a job/benefits. Check out your benefits entitlements which can kick in even if he hasn't left yet. This will alleviate any immediate financial difficulties and show you ex that he cannot bully you through financial threats.

In terms of your desire to keep the house. It would be a good idea to work out how much you could borrow in the future based on likely income, new job, benefits and child maintenance. Then figure out if you could afford the house if you retained anything between 50%- 100% of the equity. If you can't then a buy out might not be an option.

A mesher order would be an alternative and this would let you stay in the family home until the youngest was 18 with support from your ex. At which stage you would have to give your ex his share of the equity. But it is not a favoured route, since it can simply defer a problem for you and create limitations on your ex getting a second mortgage. He definitely won't like it.

The courts will favour a clean break, either an equity transfer or sale and equity split. This usually works out best for people who get to move on with their lives and gives them time to rebuild their finances.

Let him make all the noise he wants, in the meantime get on top of all the finances held by both of you. That is both of your pensions, savings, debt and any other assets.

It will start to give you an idea of where the negotiation will go. Remember pensions can be very valuable and people will go to a lot of pains to hang onto them.

The best way through this is to be reasonable with each other and flexible where possible. But at the same time get good financial and legal advice. Most people go through mediation and then take the outcome to a lawyer to get it signed offed.

Think long and hard about keeping the house and why that is an imperative. A clean break and a fresh start is usually healthier.

Thank you for the responses, I am a little confused though because I understood that as I had the house 7 years before I even met my husband and because the mortgage and title deeds are all in my name only, I thought that my husband couldn’t touch the house. Is it not the case that the house is mine?
If it is the case that he is entitled to something out of the house then can the courts order us to sell or would I be able to buy him out? So, for instance if the courts said I had to sell but I could raise the money to buy him out, can I do this or can the courts still say no you have to sell? DH wouldn’t want to keep the house and would be fine about being paid out of taht was what was decided. I just think it seems very unfair for me to have to give my husband half the equity in the house when I have had the house for 14 years. I have only been with him for 7. The kids also need to stay in the house and I want to stay in this house as it means a lot to me and the kids are happy at school. I will be looking for work after xmas to support myself.
The equity in the house would be £80k but this would surely have to be spilt between us and I very much doubt it would be a 50/59 split given that the house is in my sole name. My dad actually guarantored the house for me when I took out the mortgage as I was working but also at university at the time. So out of the £80k I’d have to raise £40 if it was a 50/50 split but surely thatbis worst case scenario.
Can anyone shed any light on what I have said and let me know if I am correct or not?

Forget the fact you bought the house before you married.....once those rings go on it is effectively a joint pot of assets. From that point on, it can be divided in the way the court sees fit (if t goes that far...but rarely does) to make account of needs and particularly children.

If it was a very short marriage that may be a factor but 4 years isn't that e are other threads on here where women are deeply unhappy that laws brought in the protect SAHM have badly bitten them and their husbands have fleeced them....it is called equality

A friend has recently divorced and has young children, her ex tried to force the sale to get half of the equity out but court ruled he can't force her to sell until her youngest reaches 18. The only downside is that when that happens he is still entilited to 50% of the equity even though he woundnt have paid a penny towards the mortgage for 13 years.

To OP

I am not Family Solicitor so unable to say how the Courts would split a house that; was bought before the marriage, in your name, but has been used as a Family home for several years.

If courts decide that Ex is entitled to a share of the equity and you can raise the money I can't see what the difference is between providing the cash equivalent of the equity share or waiting to sell and then handing over cash?

Could be some time before the house is sold and may release less equity than initially thought. Cash in hand is on the nail.

Good luck

As far as I am aware the house will be a marital asset regardless that you owned it before marriage . However as he is the main bread winner & you are the main carer plus your ability to earn in the future will be affected it’s most probable you will be able to stay in your home & he will have to contribute to the mortgage . I advise a free half hour with a solicitor ASAP

Go and get a free half hour consultation with a family law solicitor .